Green Oakleaf
by Hibernian Princess
Summary: Basically, Halt falls in love. An old fanfic I did three and a half years ago-complete with my new sarcastic comments  and lots and lots of bashing !   HaltxOC, rated K plus for some slight innuendo.  Complete.
1. Roots and Beginnings

**A/N: So, I'm going through a **_**Ranger's Apprentice**_** obsession phase and I decided to dig out one of my old fanfics from about 2.5 years ago. I started reading it and was HORRIFIED at how awful it was (Inanya has a cool name, but she's such a SUE! And don't even get me started on how badly I screwed up with characterizing Halt. Oh yeah, and then there's the complete lack of plot-can't forget about that one.). So I saved a copy with my comments in green ink all over the place, mostly making fun of what I wrote, sometimes offering genuine criticism, and occasionally providing moderately helpful information in case I ever decide to turn this thing into less of a train wreck.**

**So here is that fic, complete with my commentary (in bold). Pretty much all of my comments are highly sarcastic, except when I ramble. Then it's fairly serious. Please feel free to join in on the bashing. ;) Because seriously, it sucks and I would love to hear your opinion of how badly it sucks.**

**Just a quick note-this begins about 20 years before **_**Ruins of Gorlan**_**. And the original name of this fic was "Silver Oakleaf." Yet another thing I'm mocking.**

**Also, I don't own **_**Ranger's Apprentice**_**. Which means that I don't own Halt or Gilan. Dang it.**

**Nor do I own **_**Star Wars, Star Trek**_**, or **_**The Big Bang Theory**_** (all of which are somehow referenced in here). Again, dang it.**

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><p>Inanya was in the woods, practicing tossing her knife, as she did often at night. <strong>Because everyone just thinks, "Hey, it's dark; why don't I randomly toss my knife? It's not like I'll hit someone or anything crazy like that."<strong>You see, Inanya was a Ranger, quite young at the time. **Because that sentence totally had no implications about the rest of the story tied to it or anything**. The fact that she was female made most of the other Rangers scoff, but that changed whenever her skills were shown. **Way to underscore her gender.**

She tossed her knife at a nearby tree. As expected, it hit its mark with deadly accuracy.

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><p>Halt stepped aside just in time as the knife hit the tree. A Ranger's knife, he realized with a glance at it. <strong>Really? A Ranger would recognize a Ranger's knife? Nah, now we're just being dumb.<strong>

Though the knife could have killed him, he couldn't help but be impressed.** Yes, because every self-respecting Ranger thinks, "Oh hey, this thing almost killed me...dang, talk about good aim."**Whoever had thrown the knife had skill. He decided to stay where he was and see who had thrown it. **It's not like there's a risk of him getting hit again...*scoffs***

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><p>Inanya walked towards the tree to retrieve her knife. She could sense that she was not the only one in the woods, but she did not want to alert her "companion." <strong>And tossing a knife six inches away from his face didn't alert him?<strong>

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><p>The figure that had thrown the knife drew closer. Halt could now see from the shadowy outline and movements that the person was female. <strong>Again, talk about overemphasizing the fact that she's a woman.<strong> She was clad as a Ranger, so…it must have been her. **Yes, because aside from the cloak, Rangers don't dress like anyone else. Plain pants and shirts? Yeah, Ranger exclusives.** It appeared that she did not see him, but perhaps she was only pretending.** Now this is just ridiculous. And very out-of-character. If she's a Ranger, obviously she's gonna see him if she's looking correctly.**

A moment before she stretched out her hand, the moonlight shone under her hood. Halt could tell from that shortest of glances that she was beautiful. **Oh gosh, I want to throw up.**

She stretched out her hand…reaching for the knife, or so it seemed…

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><p>She meant to grab the wrist of her "companion," but instead, Inanya grasped his hand. Apparently, they had reached for one another's wrists at the same moment.<p>

Inanya blushed and let go of the obviously masculine hand **I read those previous two words out loud to my sister and we couldn't stop laughing for several minutes**. Quickly, she pulled her knife from the tree and stuck it back in its sheath. "I am sorry. I nearly hit you," she apologized. **Oh yeah, that should smooth it all over. *sarcasm sign***

Halt noted that her voice was low but obviously feminine with a slight caustic edge to it naturally** Did I really just spend a full sentence trying to say that she sounded like me? Ugh.** "I think I'm more aware of that than anyone else," he responded coolly. **Okay, that was good.**

Without a last look, she turned and began to walk away. Curious, Halt called out, "How did you become a Ranger?" **It's not like he'd know everything that goes on inside the Ranger Corps, since he's, you know, one of the higher-ranking Rangers.**

"Likely the same way you did. My skills were recognized and I was apprenticed," she retorted, her voice bearing more of an edge now. **GAHH, BUT HALT WASN'T APPRENTICED...! Don't even get me started on that spiel, though...(especially since I only know part of it, and I'd probably have to look that part up in book 8)**

He couldn't allow her to leave…not without saying something more **oh dear Lord**. "May I escort you back to your home?" he wondered.** No you may not. It's far too out of character for you.**

Inanya turned completely around to look at the Ranger. She liked the sound of his voice, deep and soothing with a trace of a Hibernian accent. **Question: how is she suddenly so good with accents? And just out of random curiosity, why didn't they know one another-pretty much everyone in the Corps is at least remotely familiar with one another.** His face was hidden by the deep cowl of his hood **I probably stole that phrase straight out of _Ruins of Gorlan_**, but she decided that she could trust him to walk her home. "Yes," she consented.

He approached her. "What is your name?"

"Inanya. Yours?" came the response. **Again, how can they both be members of the Corps and have no knowledge of one another?**

"Halt."

"Pleased to meet you," Inanya told Halt. **"Because it's not like we've ever met before at the annual Ranger Gatherings. That would just be silly and would mess up the author's plans for this awful fanfic."**

He nodded, acknowledging what she had said and agreeing with it. "I shall trust you to lead me," he told her with the fleeting ghost of a smile.** For a horrible fleeting moment, I'm reminded of Princess Breena (a character from the very first story I shamelessly defaced with green ink). Although I don't think this fic is as horrible as that; Halt is just so far out of character that the real Halt might as well be rocketing through the galaxy with Kirk and Spock in the 23rd century (this is what happens when one attempts to write while Star Trek II is on TV in the background).**

"I do not feel like going anywhere but home now," she replied.

"You are exhausted?"

"That is not the word. I merely feel like being at home," she informed Halt. **Yeah, what the heck was the point of that whole conversation?**

He glanced at Inanya and noticed that her hood had slipped off her head. She was beautiful, her eyes a delicate shade of green and her light brown hair falling out of the leather thong that bound it back **okay, I know I'm supposed to be focusing on the actual quality of the plot, but the syntax of that previous sentence was pretty awful**. Her facial features bore the delicate and well-maintained beauty of a fine lady but with the hardness and seriousness of a Ranger's face—rather a contradiction, he realized. **Again, the real Halt is off on the Enterprise. He would never in a million years, think something like that about someone he'd just met. And I seriously doubt he'd get that eloquent with anyone-Halt's pretty straightforward. But if someone else were speaking, that thought would be pretty good.**

Intentionally, he allowed his hood to fall back, wondering what Inanya's reaction would be. **Yeah, he wouldn't do that, and if he did, he wouldn't care. He cuts his hair with a saxe knife, for crying out loud! And Halt pretty much lives under his hood. In public, at least.**

Halt did not know it, but Inanya felt an immediate attraction to him. **Well that took all of five seconds.** His features were rugged and masculine **really? A man with masculine features? Who would've dreamed up that one?** and his hair and short beard were rather roughly trimmed, obviously done with his knife. **Okay, so at least I acknowledged it.**

They walked together till Inanya reached her cottage. "Thank you for walking with me tonight, Halt," she said softly, almost tenderly.

Halt's heart nearly halted. **I remember how ardent I was about writing that sentence...and it sucks. Badly.** She was so beautiful…and so out of the ordinary. **And you're so out of character.** "You are welcome, Inanya. Good night," he bid her.

With a swish of his cloak, the Ranger was gone. **That totally coincides with the common person's view of Rangers, but Inanya would probably see him-she's a Ranger and should possess the same skills as Halt.**

**This brings a good question to mind-how did Halt get his Ranger skills if he wasn't apprenticed? If John Flanagan doesn't explain this in RA: Lost Tales, I'm going to Australia to have a looooong talk with him.**

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><p>Night was beginning to fall. Halt was leaving his cottage for the forest in hopes that he would see Inanya again. He had quickly taken a fancy to her <strong>pshyeah, I'd say.<strong> She had quite an appealing personality.**..and you've known her for how long?**. Halt had never taken a fancy to a woman before, being scornful of the ignorance of the other females he had known. **Halt in love is slightly atypical; Halt (or anyone) in love this quickly (with absolutely no development) is absurd. If people talk to each other like twice and then "fall in love," it's not really love. It's pure, untainted lust.**

Inanya was walking through the forest silently. Casually, she tossed her knife at a nearby tree. It hit its mark perfectly, as was expected by her and her momentarily mysterious watcher. **...So now he's creeping on her in the woods? Yeah, that just makes me want to throw myself into his arms. And she's throwing knives at him as he creeps on her? Jeez, what a warm and loving relationship they have. **"You have some skill…for someone of your age," Halt informed the younger female Ranger. **Now THAT sounds like the Halt I know and love!**

She took a moment to admire the soothing sound of his voice **I never really imagined Halt's voice as being soothing. Not recently, at least** before responding, "Not that much younger, I'll reckon. You can't be any older than twenty-seven, and I'm twenty."

"Good guess, Inanya. Twenty-five," he informed her.

Inanya smiled under her hood. Already she fancied Halt, and learning a bit of his personality **what personality? There is a complete lack of character development in this story! It's just a poorly written relationship!** only made her like him more.

**Again, what was the point of this scene? Other than an extremely pathetic excuse for character development.**

**Random thought: usually, whenever I use the word "personality" when describing why certain people are in love with certain other people, it means that both characters are severely underdeveloped and that the story contains bare and awful details of their underdeveloped relationship. Side effects of this use of "personality" are...green ink. Lots and lots of it.**

**A/N: Okay, bonus question! What movie soundtrack did I steal the title of this chapter from? (1st person to tell me the correct answer gets a gold star and will be acknowledged at the beginning of chapter two.)**


	2. Revealation

**A/N: Hooray, here's chapter two (in which Halt gets wayyyyy OOC and the ink conquers)! Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed-it was awesome to hear your comments. :D I found my old notebooks that has this story in them, and it's actually three and a half years old, which makes me feel a little better about how awful it is. :) I think I have ten chapters, but only four are typed up-I'm going to start typing the rest soon. Enjoy the story. :D**

_**Ranger's Apprentice, Star Trek, Star Wars, The Big Bang Theory, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Sound of Music, **_**and **_**Rodger & Hammerstein's Cinderella**_** have some stuff in common, but there's really only one thing of which I'm thinking-sadly, none of them belong to me; they are the property of their respective owners.**

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><p>Halt was at his cottage, preparing for another nighttime meeting with Inanya <strong>can't they hang out in the day?<strong>. He had grown to love her and planned to confess his feelings tonight.** Um, after how long? And writing about Halt's feelings just feels so...weird. Of course, I suppose it is-too much focus on Halt's emotions pulls us back on the Enterprise hurtling towards the galaxy of Waytheheyoutofcharacter, warp speed ahead. Also, he doesn't seem like someone who would plan this thing out (more on that later).**

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><p>Inanya set out towards the woods, heart racing. She and Halt had been meeting there every night since the time she had almost hit him with her knife <strong>Again, what's wrong with the day?<strong>. Every night when she returned home, she would think blissfully of Halt until she fell asleep **that's bordering on obsession**. Her love for the Ranger was great, and she hoped that something would happen between them soon. **How come their emotions always perfectly coincide? I mean, yeah, a little bit is normal, but this is just dumb.**

He sensed her approaching everyone stand and applaud, Halt's Ranger skills have finally arrived. "Inanya," he spoke softly. **Oh dear God in heaven, I cannot express how annoying I find it when couples randomly say one another's names. Example:**

**"Halt..."**

**"Inanya..."**

**"...what were you going to say?"**

**"Nothing, I just enjoy rolling your name around on my tongue. It's FUN!"**

**It's kind of pointless and awfully cliche.**

The cloaked feminine figure came closer. Tonight, she looked different. Her hood was back and her hair was unbound, falling freely in wavy cascades about her shoulders** holy cliche overload**. Wordlessly, he took her small hands in his. **Annnnd we fall out of character yet again. But just a little bit. Hand-holding is acceptable, but the context is all messed up. He'd be holding Inanya's hand tightly or just placing his hand over hers (which we can rule out, since there needs to be a solid surface under said hands). Very brisk and straightforward, not all mushy and timid. (Jeez, apparently I like analyzing Halt.)**

Inanya was left breathless. She had never been so close to Halt. "Listen to me for a moment," he commanded softly, his slight accent becoming more prominent. **Okay, Halt having an accent always turns me to mush. When I reread _Ruins of Gorlan_ a week ago and Flanagan first talked about the "Hibernian burr," I literally did one of those "cliche-girl-in-love" sighs. Out loud. And I felt no shame. (Sorry, random divergent-ness.)**

"I shall," she answered even more quietly, her voice losing the edge it usually beheld. **I always liked how that bit sounded in my head-her voice getting really soft and sweeter, like she has an idea of what he's going to say. Kind of an "I'm letting my guard down" type thing. Hooray, I found a tiny glimmer of hope in this horrible mess!**

"Inanya…I love you," Halt stated simply.

**Okay, let's stop here for a second. Halt saying "I love you" is plausible. However, the execution is the difficult part here (and, obviously, the part that I botched horribly). He probably wouldn't drop it at the beginning of a conversation or something like that. I think it'd work if he said it just after they kissed passionately, while looking into her eyes very straightforwardly. No mushiness in his tone, just clear, honest words. Because Halt doesn't really overdo feelings (and back in the day of this story, I had a tendency to pile on the emotion).**

**So yeah, after that spiel, I think it's pretty obvious what the problem with this was-far too mushy. Plus, Halt doesn't really strike me as the type of man who'd sit at home, planning out when to say those three magic words. He'd just let it happen.**

**Lol, random mental image of Halt sitting in his cabin with a piece of parchment in front of him, poring over it and looking very focused. Someone (probably Gilan or Will, even though neither one of them are his apprentices at this point in my story) walks in and asks what he's doing. Typically, Halt scowls, makes some comment about apprentices and the endless questions that they ask, and finally admits that he's making a plan.**

**"A battle plan?" the apprentice wonders.**

**"No," Halt retorts. "A plan to confess my deep, passionate, and undying feelings to Inanya."**

**(Okay, so that last part was WAY out of character, but hey, it conveys what I wanted it to...)**

**Holy character analysis. Well, when I'm writing about Halt next, I know where to look for personal insight...**

She reached up to push his hood back, running her hand across his face in a tender caress **He probably wouldn't be hugely fond of that...just saying**. "I love you too," she professed, her voice soft and gentle.

They stood there for a moment, lost in one another's eyes **I really need to learn to abandon these awful romantic cliches; the horror will eventually kill me**. Inanya felt Halt release her hands. Slowly, he moved towards her and kissed her briefly on the lips. The short kiss was blissful for both of them, but they both longed for something more. **Okay, that just sounds incredibly awkward. And Halt wouldn't be timid about the kiss (not that he'd get overzealous or anything)-but he's a man. He'd take initiative. None of this wussy crap that is all over the place in here.**

Inanya took a step towards Halt. He looked into her eyes and saw the desire. **So now it's not just "desire," it's "the desire?"** Placing his hand on the back of her head, he moved towards her and kissed her once more. This kiss was longer and more passionate, both slowly letting their guards down at last **and they didn't let their guards down when they said "I love you?" Interesting**. As they slowly moved apart, he pulled her into a tight embrace. A near-silent sigh escaped Inanya's lips. **Question: isn't a "near-silent sigh" basically a breath?** "I am entrusting you with more of me than I have ever revealed, Halt," she informed him, still without the edge to her voice. **Revealed? What? I don't even know what I was doing here except making a very failed attempt to sound romantic.**

He had never heard her voice without that edge for so long. "I know, my dear. **Halt would never "my dear" someone. Ever. Not if his very existence depended upon it**. I will not harm you in any manner," he promised. **Well sheesh, what a reassurance. Her boyfriend's not gonna hurt her. Isn't that kind of standard protocol?**

They moved apart a bit to share another tender kiss. **One thing about these older stories of mine that bothers me is the frequency with which my characters kiss. I think it devalues the action a bit if a couple kisses three times in such a short amount of time (HINT HINT). It's overkill.** "I feared I may have waited too long to confess my feelings for you," Halt conceded.

"There is no one else whom I love **good Lord, I hope not-you've been flirting with Halt for who knows how long!**, and as far as I know, no other men who are in pursuit of me," Inanya remarked.** And if there were, hopefully it wouldn't matter. You're in a relationship (well kind of), sheesh!**

Halt felt a slight pang of disappointment to hear that caustic edge return to Inanya's voice, but said only, "How can no other man desire you? You are the most beautiful woman in all of Araluen." **And he's complaining about having her all to himself? That's just out of character for any normal male. He should be skipping around and doing a victory dance, which is also out of character, but it's not much further off the scale than some of the stuff in here. Don't even get me started on him calling her beautiful. By this point, he'd probably be thinking it, but I seriously doubt he'd say something so straightforwardly. (Random note to self: if I ever have my lead female and someone else talk about Halt's complete lack of romantic flair, she should mention that she knows he thinks she's beautiful by the way he looks at her. Only she'll explain it in a less cliche way.)**

**Hey, I just had another thought. It's said that 90% of all human communication is nonverbal. Halt is the master of nonverbal communication. His gestures say so much (because he uses them very sparingly)-a look, a nod of the head, a raise of the eyebrow. Just thought I'd point that out. He's an interesting person to analyze.**

Inanya's lips parted** I totally stole that from my best friend's LotR fanfic _Beauteous Wonder_, probably from the part where the leading lady's boyfriend is telling her that he loves her**. She knew that Halt was a very guarded man **well it's kind of a job requirement** and never said anything that he didn't mean many times over. She struggled to find something to say but at last came up with: "You know what is said about Rangers. Do you think that any of the common folk, even the men, would look twice at a woman who walks in shadow?" **Oohh, I kind of liked the "walks in shadow" part (even though it's cliche), but it's not really an appropriate description of the Ranger Corps. This makes them sound a little bit like the necromancers that some people think they are.**

"If that is what they do…look only once at you…then they are at a loss," he declared. **Again, quit complaining that there aren't a bazillion guys chasing after her! She's YOURS, dude! All yours! (Feel free to laugh maliciously and rub your hands together in a creepy fashion. Because that is actually more in-character than being disappointed that your girlfriend doesn't have a screaming crowd of fanboys behind her.)**

The moment the words left Halt's mouth, Inanya gave him an ardent kiss. "I love you," he whispered into her hair. **Remember what I mentioned earlier about a bunch of kissing devaluing the action? Well the same thing goes for "I love you." Probably shouldn't happen more than once in a scene.**

"I believe that was mentioned before, darling."

**If a woman ever called Halt "darling," he'd probably throw her in a moat. He seems to like reprimanding people in that particular fashion.**

"I know, Inanya. It needed to be said once more." **No it didn't.**

She emitted another low sigh **what the heck is this low sigh business about? Low sighs are sighs of exhaustion** before admitting willingly for the second time that night, "I love you too, Halt, and I vow to remember you always as my first love." **Wow, what a special vow. *sarcasm sign***

He was rather taken aback, but pleasantly so. "Then I vow not to do anything to blemish your memory of me," he promised to his love.

They kissed once more please stop that before Inanya asked, "Is there anything more you wish to do tonight? **HOLY SUGGESTIVE QUESTION ALERT!** If not, I shall go home." **Dang right you will. And you better be going alone.**

"I only want to walk you home and ask if I may be given the pleasure of spending all of tomorrow with you," he requested. **Well at least he's chivalrous. He totally could've taken advantage of that question. But now Halt's out of character again.**

"Of course," she replied.

The couple strolled happily along towards Inanya's cottage, talking and kissing on occasion **gahhhh, somebody stab me...!**. When they reached her cottage, Halt took her into his arms and kissed her with a rush of fervor **the "rush of fervor" part has a sense of urgency to it, like he doesn't have a lot of time to kiss her. Which might be the case; who knows when the real Halt will return from his epic voyages on the _Enterprise_?**. "Goodnight, Halt. I love you," Inanya informed him. **Oh please.** ***eye roll***

"I will be here tomorrow around eight in the morning **so now that you're dating, the unwritten laws of Ranger-dom courtship protocol dictate that you are finally allowed to see one another in the day? About time**. I love you as well, Inanya, and bid you good night," he said with one last kiss which was followed by a long embrace.

As Inanya entered her cottage, she thought about Halt. Once you accustomed yourself to his often gruff and sinister manner—or worked past it—he was wonderful. **And his "outer shell" isn't wonderful?** She loved him and desperately wanted to promise to love him always, but doing such things while their love was so new was not wise **well, you've got a leg up on some of my other early characters, then**. She would see if what she and Halt had could withstand the greatest test of all—time. **That was so cliche that I want to travel back in time and smack myself for it.**

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><p>Halt was, for once, unable to focus.<strong>..and here we are, back on the <em>Enterprise<em>, traveling towards more OOC**. He could not seem to turn his mind from Inanya. It was blissful, but agitating for the part of his mind that remained immune to his emotion **um, doesn't most of his mind remain "immune to emotion," seeing as Rangers have to think with the left (logical) halves of their brains, not the right (emotional) halves?**. For tonight, he decided to allow his mind to succumb to her. **That sounds a little weird, like she's hypnotizing him or something.**

Inanya was wonderful. She made every moment wonderful **yeah, we just used "wonderful..." twice**…and made Halt feel as if he could sing. **Yeah, this is in the same realm of "out of character" as Halt doing a victory dance. Possibly even more out of character than a victory dance. Words cannot ever express the wrongness of Halt wanting to break into song.  
><strong>

**Hahahahaha, I just got a mental image of Halt running through the streets of Redmont with his arms open wide... "I'm so happy I could...SIIIIIINGGG!" (kind of like Herbert from Monty Python and the Holy Grail)**

**Switch to Halt running through grassy hills (like the ones from The Sound of Music), singing loudly... "THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIIIIIVE...WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUSICCCC...!"**

**Then, Halt kneeling dramatically on Inanya's doorstep, holding her hands and looking up into her eyes, while he serenades her...**

**"Do I looooove you because you're beautiful...or are you BEAUUUUUTIFULLLL...because I love youuuuuuuuu?...Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dreeeeaaammmmmm...or are you REALLLLLLLY as BEAUUUUTIFULLL as you SEEEEEEM?"**

**Oh, if only you knew how hard I was laughing right now...Halt singing is just so strange and OOC.**

_Don't do it, he reminded himself._

_You'll regret it._

**_Just like the author will regret writing this part when she comes back and reads it almost four years later._**


	3. A Turning Point

**A/N: Woohoo, chapter three is here with even more horribly mushy romance-and more sarcasm in bold! Please review; hopefully this is still interesting. :)**

**On a side note, I will soon be changing my pen name to "Hibernian Princess," so if you type in my URL with my name as Merlin's First Love, I won't be found.**

**Also, I'm starting another RA fanfiction (a legit one that hopefully will have no weak points in the plot structure), so keep your eyes peeled for that. ;)**

**As usual, **_**Ranger's Apprentice, Star Trek, The Big Bang Theory, **_**and **_**Star Wars**_** are not mine. Neither is Enrique Iglesias (but I'm okay with that).  
><strong>

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><p>Halt and Inanya were sitting in Halt's cottage, watching the snow fall outside <strong>wow, sounds exciting, especially for two Rangers who have traveled all over the place and seen all sorts of things. On another side-note, Halt isn't really the sort of person who'd sit around and stare out a window, unless he was watching something worthwhile-i.e., looking for someonesomething**. It had been over four years since they confessed their love for one another** and why haven't the lovely readers gotten to see any part of these four years?**, but it seemed like no time at all to both of them**, as well as to the readers of this story. Of course, the readers had literally skipped from the beginning of the relationship to four years later, so for them, it was actually quite close to "no time at all."**

Smoothly, Halt arose, tenderly grasping Inanya's hands and taking her with him. "We need to talk, Inanya," he informed her. **I don't even need to say it. But he wouldn't. And the word "smoothly" just sounds wrong with Halt, unless it's describing how he draws an arrow from his quiver (and even then it sounds kind of weird). "Smoothly" is a word that one uses to describe one's attractive, Enrique Iglesias-esque secret lover, who definitely shouldn't be in this story.**

She felt her heart scream out in terror, fearing what he would say **okay, I know that "we need to talk" is usually not good for relationships, but it doesn't necessarily mean that she should panic. Honestly, Halt would probably say something else, like, "Let's talk about love, honey" (okay, not that, but he wouldn't say something that would wig her out) It'd be more like a very crisp and straightforward, "There's something we should discuss." *momentary pause in which Inanya looks at him earnestly and asks what's up* "Marriage." Wow, if only I'd done something like that to begin with...so much better**. "I am not ending this, dear one. **He'd probably do a victory dance before using that particular term of endearment. Heck, he'd probably do a victory dance before doing a lot of stuff in this story.** I am doing the exact opposite of that," he promised, sinking onto his knee. **Okay, I know that almost all of my male characters kneel when proposing as a basic rule of my romance scenes, but Halt's not extremely tall-ergo, not a kneeler. He'd probably just stand (but holding her hands or something).**

Halt continued: "It has been four years since I first told you that I loved you.** Hooray, he can count!**Since then, I have grown to love you even more **that's usually what happens when you enter one of these relationship thingers**, even when we did not agree on things **whoa, disagreements with this "perfect" couple? I wanna see this! How could the author mention that and not write about it?...oh yeah. My fault *bows head in shame***. Now, I long for more than your courtship **"Longing" strikes me as a word that Halt would only use in situations of high sarcasm. "Oh, well, of course I'm _longing_ to wash the dishes, Inanya, since I've done it for the past six weeks." "Yes, Will, I'm _longing_ to answer your question." "Oh, I've just been _longing_ to camp outside in the freezing cold!" So yeah, I can totally not take this scene seriously anymore (although did I ever really take it seriously to begin with?)**. Inanya…will you marry me?" **Oh, you have no idea how sick I am of talking about how OOC Halt is in here...**

**But hey, might as well point out the flaws while they're here. As with a properly executed "I love you," Halt would have no ado when proposing to a woman. Not that he'd just randomly shout it out like he's having vocal cord spasms or something, but he wouldn't intentionally beat around the bush.**

**And here goes another mental image of Halt and Inanya, stalking someone/something in the woods. They're slowly creeping closer to said thing/person, when suddenly...**

**"Will you marry me?"**

**Inanya looks around, confused-it sounded a lot like Halt. All is explained when she looks over to see Halt, looking moderately embarrassed as he clears his throat awkwardly. "Sorry," he apologizes, "I sometimes get random vocal cord spasms and have no control whatsoever over what I say during them."**

**"Oh, it's okay!" Inanya exclaims. "It's not as if your job requires long periods of complete silence, which, if broken, could possibly result in your death and the fall of the Ranger Corps!"**

**Oh man, the things my brain comes up with...**

She stood, awestruck **okay, so I know that proposing should be romantic and at least somewhat unexpected, but could she seriously be in a relationship with Halt for four years and not expect them to get to this point eventually?**, looking down at him. "My love for you will not lessen **again, that's usually what's supposed to happen in relationships**. I want to share all of my life with you; make you happier than you have ever been **too...much...mushiness...losing...consciousness...** I hope that I have gone about this in the right way," he said as an afterthought. **No, you have not gone about it in the right way. Forget the _Enterprise_. Real Halt has moved to long ago, in a galaxy far, far away...**

Inanya took his hands in hers, raising him up. "Halt…yes. "I will marry you, and gladly **...and you were thinking of doing it un-gladly?** **Do I need to get relationship counseling for these two or what?**. I love you **I think he could've picked up on that one, as you just agreed to marry him**," she answered, pulling him into an embrace before letting out a deep breath. **Why was she holding her breath? She's not the one putting her heart on the line here.**

Halt could feel her breathe as he held her close**, which is more than slightly creepy**. It felt wonderful for him to know that Inanya would be his wife fairly soon.

"Tonight is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Not only your proposal, but…everything that you said…" Inanya did not finish. **She is WAYY too mushy for him. Heck, she's too mushy with anyone who has a fraction of a brain.**

He released her from the embrace. "When would you like our wedding ceremony to be?" he wondered.

She laughed a bit **oh hardy-har-har, what a hilarious question** before responding, "Whenever the snow decides to let up."

Halt smiled, breaking the grim mask of his face **okay, I know he just got engaged, but he probably wouldn't smile (at least, not a large smile). He'd raise an eyebrow or something. Halt smiling=normal person laughing (or being overwhelmed by joy in some other fashion). And anyways, what she said isn't really worthy of a smile**. "Do you mean after the winter or after this snowfall?" he inquired. **Oh, ha ha ha, _so_ clever! *sarcasm sign***

Inanya kissed him before reciprocating, "It is best to wait until spring for that…but early spring then."

Halt nodded his agreement. Neither of them wanted to wait, though it would only be two months till the cold began to leave.** Ha ha ha, have fun planning a wedding in two months. And I'm sure the Corps is going to be thrilled to know that they're gonna be randomly losing a Ranger. Although apparently Inanya was already in the Redmont-ish area, since she met Halt by chucking knives at him at night**. "I should walk you home now. If the snow continues to fall like this, you probably won't have another chance to get home and we may not be able to see one another tomorrow. Anyways, you need to be kept warm," he suggested, referring to her slight frame.** Oh, how easily his last quote could've been misconstrued... "Hey baby, it's kinda cold and you might not be able to get home, if you know what I mean..." *suggestive wink***

**Wow, how incredibly OOC. But then again, it's just a drop in the ocean.**

_Excellent excuse_, Inanya thought. Halt would take any opportunity to be near to her, even if it meant he would be walking back to his cottage alone in the winter **well you're engaged now (and you've been together for four years); he should want to be around you**. She took a glance at her fiancée's build and mentally noted that he was only a small amount taller than her and little wider, if any**. ...and in four years of dating, she has NEVER before noticed this?**

"Then we shall be off," she stated, fetching her cloak.

Halt did likewise. The moment they stepped outside, he wrapped his arm and a side of his cloak around Inanya. **That doesn't sound very Halt-esque either. Plus Inanya's a Ranger-she's probably seen a lot worse than a little snow. And really, how far away does she live if they're walking?** In this manner, they made the brief journey to her cottage. In front of her house, Halt kissed Inanya. "Goodnight, my love **again, he's not really a terms of endearment type of guy**. I love you," he told her.

"I love you too, Halt," she responded, giving him a quick peck on the lips before entering her cottage. **I've decided that I really don't like the "peck on the lips" phrase-it makes people sound like chickens or some other sort of bird. And that just makes me think of the Chicken Dance, which is totally not romantic.**

Everything there was the same…except Inanya. She was different now—betrothed **well duh**—but she had never been happier. She walked to the window, watching Halt walk away. **That's moderately strange. Plus if it's snowing, he probably wouldn't be very easy to see.**

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><p>As Halt walked towards his cottage, he could barely feel the cold<strong> because his heart was so full of warmth (hey, I'd be willing to bet that I was thinking something similar when I wrote this part)<strong>. He had asked Inanya to marry him and she had consented **really? I thought that whole scene was a bluff**. He could still hear her answering him…**yeah, hearing voices usually isn't a good sign, dude. You should get that checked out.**

Realizing that he had stopped, he continued on his way homeward.

**Well jeez, holy pointless section.**


	4. Morgarath's Attack

**A/N: Hooray for another chapter-with more bold than EVER! Not a lot to say about this except that the plot (or rather, my pathetic excuse for a plot) actually begins. Please review and enjoy. :D**

_**Ranger's Apprentice**_** and **_**The Big Bang Theory **_** are not mine. They belong to John Flanagan and CBS. (Wow, I only referenced two fandoms and one of them is the one about which I'm writing.)**

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><p>Morgarath was attacking<strong>, as the title of this chapter implies<strong>. The Wargals were freely roaming the kingdom of Araluen **so he's managed to take over the whole dang country? When did this happen? And oddly, when I think of Wargals roaming, I picture them running through the hills after Halt, who is singing loudly: "THE HILLS ARE ALIIIIIVE..." and so on. Jeez, OOC Halt singing will never leave me**. Halt and Inanya, now married **hey, we didn't get to see how poorly written that would've been! Sad days.**, were inside fighting their own battle. **Oh jeez, when I wrote it, I did _not_ mean for it to sound that...suggestive**. They were sitting at their table, poring over several maps **(yes, the battle inside is one of a strategical nature, not a sexual one)**. **Because of course they have loads of time to spend a ton of time on strategy. It's not like they'd be expected to actually be fighting or something.** "The Slipsunder!" Halt yelled excitedly.** I just can't bring myself to imagine Halt yelling anything excitedly. Yelling, yes. Excitement...not so much.**

Inanya jumped in her chair. "Wargals fear horses. To drive them out, we lead cavalry down the river!" he explained. **I thought they started fearing horses because of this attack. Just saying.**

"Well done," Inanya told him, giving him a quick kiss on the mouth. **Yeah, not really the best time for displays of affection. Which Halt would probably note.**

He gave her a brief squeeze before saying, "We should be off." **Um, you should've been "off" a while ago. Just pointing it out.**

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><p>Morgarath smiled. There was no hope for them now. His Wargals were dominant. <strong>hmm, Wargals don't really strike me as "dominant" creatures. Maybe I should've said that they were destroying the Araluens or wreaking havoc. Because Wargals can't really dominate. They're like giant ugly puppy dogs-they'll find a leader and follow himher around.** What else could the knights do? **Yeah, about that...you might want to keep an eye on them, dude.**

As the thought entered his mind, he heard thundering hoofbeats. Looking up in despair, he saw horses charging down the Slipsunder. Who could have…?

_A Ranger,_ he thought.** How does he know this so quickly? And how does he know if it's a Ranger for sure?**

They knew of things like this. **yeah, but you aren't supposed to**. Who else could it be? **Um, pretty much anyone who has any degree of command over the army?**

The Wargals were fleeing…and Morgarath decided that now would be an excellent time to follow suit.** Wow, way to stand strong, dude. You spent how many years prepping for this and now it's, "Hey, let's bow out of here right away."**

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><p>Inanya followed Halt stealthily <strong>well duh, she's a Ranger<strong>. Things seemed to be going well **it's a battle, for crying out loud, not a frolic through the fields of sugar! She totally shouldn't be this nonchalant about it **. She knew the high honor that he would receive from this…and also knew that he would probably not accept it. A noise interrupted her thoughts. She urged her horse to a stop and looked around. A dark object came flying at her head, and—**hallelujah! A break from the awfulness! I've never been so happy in my life!**

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><p>Halt was riding Abelard back to his cottage. He had not seen Inanya or her horse for a long while <strong>so now one of the best Rangers in the Ranger Corps can't even hear his wife fall off her horse behind him? And neither one of the well-trained Ranger horses made a sound when this happened? Which reminds me...what happened to Inanya's horse anyways?<strong>, but knew that his wife could take care of herself.

He stabled his horse if Inanya's horse wasn't there, wouldn't he get worried immediately? and entered his cottage, expecting to find Inanya inside waiting for him.

She was not there.

"Inanya?" he called. **He's a Ranger. He can sense movement even when there appears to be none-and yet he's unable to tell if his wife's in the house without calling for her?**

No answer.

He lit a candle and searched the cottage thoroughly. She was nowhere to be found. **Well, there were only 13 bazillion things to alert you to this fact before now...** The cottage had been untouched since they left—spick and span as it always was.

Despair filled the Ranger as he thought about what may have happened to her. Silently, he prayed for her protection…and her safe return home. **Holy cliche.**

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><p>Inanya awoke, bruised and groggy, but still alive <strong>well if she awoke, wouldn't the fact that she's alive be implied?<strong>. She pulled herself into a standing position and examined herself. No broken bones, obviously only a few bruises and a rather detached stream of thought—the result of some poison, she assumed **and her mind's functional enough to realize this?**. Her bow and quiver of arrows were intact **after falling off a horse and being dragged/carried who knows where?**, as were her knives, a sign that whoever had captured **how does she know she's been captured? What if it was just a series of accidents?** her was not very bright or didn't think she could do them any harm. **Seriously? Whoever shot her was dumb enough to let her keep her weapons? Wow. That is awful.**

After noting that she was physically all right, Inanya examine her surroundings. Her shock gave her body the last bit of energy it needed to overcome the poison **so the antidote to this type of poison is sudden rushes of adrenaline? Hmm, never heard of that one before**. She was _nowhere_ near Redmont** well if you _were_ captured, do you actually think that your captor would just drop you off in the backyard?**. She was in the Fens, she guessed. **But she can't be in the Fens, unless she's sinking into the mushiness of the marsh. (Although in my defense, I didn't know what the deal was with the Fens when I wrote this part.)**

This was not the greatest of her worries. She knew her way back easily enough. Inanya's trouble was that she was two and a half months pregnant with Halt's child. **And you wouldn't have told him this _before_ you rushed off to put your life (and the life of your unborn child) in peril? I mean, really-you took time to congratulate Halt and kiss him and you couldn't work in a, "Hey, I'm kind of pregnant, so keep an eye on me" in there at all?**

_Fine time for this to happen_, she decided. **And a very fine time for this to end. But it doesn't end-this is just where the typed part stopped. And I will continue typing.**

Gazing across the horizon, she heard someone-or something-coming **and she can do this in her partially poisoned/wounded state?**. Rapidly, she moved to conceal herself in the barren land, moving low **Halt says specifically in book 8 that "moving low" is a bad idea because it only makes one look more suspicious; wouldn't Inanya know this?** and with the wind. "What are you doing here?" a masculine voice asked her.

_Just perfect. This is turning out to be a _wonderful_ day_, she thought caustically, standing. **Oh, your day is nothing compared to how _wonderful_ this story is. *sarcasm sign***

She looked up to meet the eyes of her fellow...Ranger **It happens again-two Rangers who magically do not know one another meet!.** "I was captured and ended up here," she informed the grey-cloaked man. **Again, how do you know you were captured?**

"Where do you hail from?" he wondered. **Prepositions shouldn't be used at the ends of sentences. A more correct way of saying that would be, "From where do you hail?" (Of course, that rule is kind of a "grammar Nazi" thing, but sometimes it bugs me.)**

"I am Inanya, wife of Halt **so that's the first thing she mentions, even before her profession? SUE ALERT!**. We are both Rangers," Inanya stated. **Wow, way to totally dodge his question about your home. And you _know_ you have a promising future in the Ranger Corps *sarcasm sign* when you say, "Oh yeah, this is my husband...um, by the way, we're both Rangers."**

"Who captured you and brought you so far from your home?" he questioned. **Wait, how does he know she's far away from home? CREEPER ALERT!**

"I do not know. I was hit in the head and given a form of poison to keep me in a faint with my mind hazy **and you're able to analyze it so accurately while influenced by it? Hmm, must be a pretty weak poison**.. I woke up a moment before I heard you," she declared.

A look of concern crossed the man's face. "Are you all right?" **Well, she's been randomly captured by some random person, is poorly drugged, pregnant, and quite a ways from home. She should be having a _lovely_ day. *sarcasm sign***

Inanya sighed to herself. She was tiring of this man's questions **well jeez, he's just making sure you're okay-being poorly captured doesn't happen every day, last time I checked**. It reminded her of Halt, who disliked questions in excess **well he doesn't hate them; it's just the pointless ones that annoy him**. She hastily turned her thoughts from her husband. "I am fine," she answered unconvincingly.

"No you're not. Something is wrong," the man said. **Well jeez, what on earth could that be? The poison? The alleged capture? The fact that she's miles and miles (or rather, kilometers and kilometers, since this is an Australian book) away from home? Her pregnancy that appears to be some giant secret or something?**

"To begin with, Halt and I have only been married for three months or so. I have been carrying his child for most of that time and never got to tell him," she confessed.

**Okay, there are a lot of things to be said about her last statement. Firstly, why the heck is she telling this random dude that she's pregnant when she hasn't even told her husband? I mean, yeah, obviously she'd be worried about it, but she seriously should've told Halt sooner-and he should've been the first to know, since it _is_ his kid.**

**Secondly, _holy crud_, she got pregnant fast! Yes, it's possible, but the timing would have to be pretty dang impeccable (thank you, 11th grade genetics class). And two and a half months isn't a long time to be pregnant, but Inanya would probably be showing some symptoms-and if she had morning sickness, that'd be kind of a tough thing to hide from someone with whom she's living. Halt would probably notice something, especially since he's a Ranger and is trained to notice things, which makes the whole situation even _more_ ridiculous than it was-there would be some sign that Inanya was pregnant, which Halt didn't pick up on, and she still chose not to tell him. Jeez, what a foundation for your marriage. *eye roll***

"You may stay here with me for as long as you need. My name is Adair," he told her.** Lol, about time you introduced yourself. "Hey, I'm Inanya."**

***Ten minutes later***

**"...oh yeah, by the way, I'm Adair. I knew I was forgetting something..."**

_Noble spear. His father must have been a knight_, Inanya observed.** By that logic, my parents would be a nun and a priest or something (which isn't possible because people in those professions take vows of chastity). Names don't necessarily tie back to one's parents. And how in the world would she know what his name means? That's not really a Ranger skill.**

Adair dismounted his horse and walked beside Inanya. She was beautiful, he noticed. Pity she was with child. That complicated the matter a bit **and the facts that she's poisoned, injured, and married don't**?, but Adair had a cunning mind **does anyone in this story _really_ have a cunning mind?** and was willing to go quite far to attain his desires. **Whoa, hold up. Was Inanya landing here just a weird coincidence or is this fellow actually in league with some higher evil dude? (I don't think I ever fully thought that part through. Wow, way to leave a plot hole big enough for a person to inhabit.)**


	5. Gatherings and Deceptions

**A/N: Okay, so here is the next chapter! This one just makes me mad, so I'm going to post Chapter 6 (which is probably my favorite so far) immediately afterwards. Thank you for all your reviews thus far-I'm glad you're enjoying the horrible dripping sarcasm and would love, as always to hear your feedback. To use the common cliche, "reviews are love!"**

**Oh, and I had a couple questions that I mean to address.**

**Firstly, Halt's lack of apprenticeship. I believe that I read about it in an interview with John Flanagan, although it may also be mentioned in one of the books (probably 3, 4, or 7, but that's kind of a stab in the dark).**

**Secondly, there was some curiosity as to what the sarcasm sign looks like. Basically, it's just a white piece of paper with "SARCASM" written in black ink in all caps. (If you've seen Season 1 of **_**The Big Bang Theory**_**, you know what I'm talking about. If you haven't, please go borrow the first season from your local library or Netflix because it is **_**hilarious**_**.)**

**As usual, I do not own **_**Ranger's Apprentice, The Big Bang Theory**_**, or **_**Star Trek**_**. Which still depresses me.**

* * *

><p>It was the day of the annual Ranger's Gathering-the day that Halt had been anticipating since Inanya's disappearance <strong>he's made no effort to contact her or even look for her since she disappeared? Wow, Husband of the Year Award, right there<strong>. **Not to mention how OOC it is of Halt to just sit back and chill, not knowing where his wife is. Of course, Real Halt is again on the _Enterprise_, so that'd explain why he couldn't look for her...** If she was alive, she would be there and he would learn what had happened to her.

Inanya sat quietly in Adair's cottage, gently rocking her infant son, Alagan **lol, I was still kind of in my Aragorn/LotR obsession phase when I wrote this and a friend pointed out that "Alagan" and "Aragorn" sound very similar...I totally did not mean to do that**. Adair was preparing to leave for the Ranger's Gathering. Inanya could not go, seeing as she could not leave Alagan behind, nor could she take him **um, even if non-Rangers aren't supposed to be at the Gathering, I think they'd make an exception for you and your two-month old kid, since pretty much everyone believes you're dead. In the scheme of things, an infant shouldn't cause too many issues because he can't exactly run around and oust all of the deep Ranger Corps secrets**. "Adair, remember to say that I am alive and could not attend because I gave birth recently **excuses, excuses**. Please try to talk to Halt and tell him that I am all right and am waiting for him **What? So she hasn't made _any_ sort of effort to drop a line to her husband? Wow, whatever happened to all the mushy love stuff from the previous chapters?**. I would also appreciate it if you would mention that he is Alagan's father **yeah, if you have time, just drop it in there...not like it's a matter of extreme importance that he'd care deeply about or something like that..**.**just his kid that his wife kindly didn't tell him about** and that I love him as much as I always have," she requested. **Your actions called. They beg to differ.**

Adair emitted a low chuckle **creeper alert!**. "I will. Do not worry yourself too much," he ordered her before leaving.

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><p>The Rangers had assembled at their gathering place-all but one. "Where is Inanya?" someone asked. <strong>Um, not here, obviously. And praise the Almighty for that.<strong>

Halt felt his heart fall in despair **cue the violin quartet**. He waited a moment before stating in his normal quiet manner, "I believe that she was captured **again, how on earth do you know this? You might as well assume that she faked her own death and is now leading a quiet life as a shepherdess in Hibernia (this is the first theory that comes to my mind after reading book 8). And on a side note, you know what happens when you assume things...**. The only excuse for her absence can be death. **Or, apparently, a kid that would make everyone so mad that she can't bring him**."

**With all the evidence you have, the shepherdess in Hibernia theory is just as likely as anything anyone can guess.**

Everyone lowered their heads respectfully. Halt felt a searing pain within him **and in the muck that is this story, we encounter another little glimmer of gold!**. She was gone from him...forever. **Forever...? Forever. (I feel like that was a quote from the Disney version of _Peter Pan_ or something (which makes the cliche semi-acceptable); it probably was and I'll end up thinking of this fanfic next time I watch it)** He wished that they could have at least had more time together. ***sigh* Real Halt must be getting real sick of the _Enterprise_-he's sure been spending lots of time on it lately. The Halt that I know and love wouldn't just quietly accept that his wife was dead-he'd go out and look for evidence. She wouldn't be dead in his mind until he had solid proof that she was gone.**

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><p>Adair dared a glance at the Ranger he knew to be Halt <strong>so he knows Halt but didn't know Inanya? Interesting, seeing as Halt and Inanya were kind of dating for four years<strong>. He seemed extremely despaired **well duh, his wife's supposedly dead-even the real Halt would be upset (although he'd do something with his sadness instead of wallowing in it)**...so much that Adair had an urge to tell the truth about Inanya. _Not after all this. She is yours now_, he reminded himself.** Hold up, what makes her "his?" She never consented to anything. Legally speaking, she's still Halt's-they're married, even if she's halfway across the country living with some other random dude who's longing to make a move on her.**

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><p>Bedside, Halt fell to his knees.<strong> <em>Enterprise<em>. Kirk. Spock. Halt. ...now which one doesn't belong but is starting to because he's so horribly OOC? I totally cannot imagine Halt falling to his knees, not even if he's wounded**. He was back at his cottage after the Ranger's Gathering. After he had found out that Inanya was dead, he had no desire to stay **but he would've stayed because duty calls-and Real Halt would want to find out everything he could from everyone in hopes that it might come together and help him find Inanya.**

"I swear by my own flesh and blood to love no other like I love her," he vowed in a lethal-sounding voice **oh, how romantic-making a promise of love in "a lethal-sounding voice?" Yeah, I'm weirded out-and kind of scared.**

He glanced at his gold wedding band **so yeah, I have a lot to say about the wedding ring thing. Firstly, I don't know if people in the wonderful world of _Ranger's Apprentice_ do wedding rings. Secondly (and more importantly), wearing a ring takes some adjusting. After a couple years, it just starts to feel like part of your finger, but at first, it's kind of weird. Wouldn't it pose a bit of a problem with the Rangers for archery? And who knows what else they do with their hands (that is a totally innocent statement)-it could be extremely impractical for them to wear rings. And lastly, Halt just doesn't really seem like a ring-wearing guy-he'd probably make some comment about how some hunk of metal around your finger doesn't mean anything-it's the love that counts (only he would never say it in such a horribly corny fashion)**. Forever it would remain upon his finger...in tribute to his deceased wife. **Now the said ring (which may or may not feel cumbersome) is like the headstone of a grave-not a promise of the love that you'll always feel (although I just said that the promise would be much more important to Halt than the ring-but still, it'd remind him of her)? Oh man, this relationship needs so much help.**

**And on another note, what if he moves on? (I'm not saying anything either way, but you can probably guess what's going to happen, judging by the sheer terrible-ness of this story.) Is he gonna randomly keep wearing the ring? Probably not.**

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><p>Inanya sat, waiting for Adair to return <strong>well, now that we know that she fails as a wife and a Ranger, but at least we know that Inanya has a promising future as a person who randomly sits and waits for stuff. She can fill in for me next time I have to wait at the doctor's office or something<strong>. She heard his horse draw near, and within a minute or so, Adair entered the cottage. "What did he say?" she asked immediately.

Adair sighed convincingly. "He has moved on **well jeez, that was fast-he dated the same woman for four years, was engaged to her for a few months, married to her for three before she inexplicably disappeared, and suddenly, after just a few months, he's over her? Wow, and you couldn't think of anything better, Adair?**. Whether that means that he loves no one or has found someone else, he would not say," he answered. **Well obviously he's not going to let his wife know if he's having a fling with a bodacious twentysomething blonde chick. I'm sure that'd go over like a Kalkara at a Ranger Gathering (for lack of a better analogy). Although a Kalkara would go over quite poorly anywhere.**

Wordlessly, Inanya walked off to her little room in the cottage. She sat and cried, wishing that Halt could somehow love her again. **And she just accepts it that easily-after pouring over five years of her life into this relationship, she just lets it all go? She's a Ranger, dangit, and she is supposed to FIGHT!**

**But then again, she's also a Sue, and Sues are supposed to sit around and be all whiney and obnoxious. I'll leave this bit up into interpretation.**


	6. Deceit

**A/N: Chapter six! :D Oh, the OOC **_**reigns**_** here. I had so much fun with the criticism in this chapter.**

**I don't own **_**Ranger's Apprentice, Star Trek, The Big Bang Theory**_**, "Thinking of You" by Katy Perry, or "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion.**

**Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

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><p>Inanya and Alagan had been living with Adair for four years now <strong>whoa, hold the phone-she's been here for <em>four years<em> and has done absolutely nothing in order to make contact with Halt and the rest of the Corps? Wow, how responsible of her**., and Inanya felt a vow she had made tugging at her **and this vow starts bugging you now and not oh, four years ago?**. She and Halt had made a vow **okay, I totally could've combined this sentence with the previous one-great, now my syntax is going down the tubes *growls*** that if they were ever separated, they would find one another...somehow. **Wow, looks like you've really been putting some effort in to that promise you made to your faithful (and incredibly attractive) husband! *sarcasm sign***

"I need to go back to him, Adair **pshyeah, about time**. Anyways, I have been a burden for you," she told him.

"Before you go...will you marry me?" he asked her. **Aren't you two kind of already married? I mean, you've been living together for four years and you've basically helped her raise her kid.**

Inanya was taken aback **good Lord above, you've been mooching off the man for four years! Did you seriously expect to just go trotting home, hands free? And it's not like you've really shown much loyalty to your husband anyways. (At this point, I find myself thinking of how if I were married to Halt, I'd be a much better wife than Inanya. Then I am forced to remember that, since Halt is fictional, that can't happen. *laments*)**. "No. Whether he loves me or not, my heart belongs to Halt," she answered. **Oh honey, your actions beg to differ.**

An unsensable **yes, I actually did write that word-I was fifteen at the time, but I still should've know that "unsensable" isn't a word** rage came over Adair. "You do not know what I have done to have you!"** No seriously, please enlighten us. Because I, the author, am not really sure what you've done to have her. Other than the lying thing, which, apparently, didn't send her running into your arms.**

That statement was the missing puzzle piece that Inanya had secretly been searching for** wait, she's been suspicious of this dude and she still stays with him? Halt is going to be even more thrilled when she comes crawling back to him. "Hey honey, I'm alive, I had your kid, and continued to live with a suspicious man for four years after giving birth...but I'm home now!" Yeah, that'll go over well. *sarcasm sign***. "Me. That is the only reason you took me in, isn't it?" she said, her voice deathly quiet.** I think I meant "lust for me" instead of just "me," but I said "me" because it sounds more dramatic. Ugh, I should be publicly flogged.**

Adair did not move. He did not dare deny her **well he kind of just ousted himself; there's not a whole lot that he can do**. Inanya continued, "You never told Halt or anyone else that I was here. You only wanted me!" **Yay Inanya! You solved the Great Lust Caper! *sarcasm billboard***

He said nothing. "YOU LIAR! YOU BACKSTABBING LIAR!" she screamed in a manner very unlike her.

She ran to get Alagan and her few belongings. "Mother, where are we going?" her son asked.

"We are going to find your father," she informed the child in a dangerous tone **why is she speaking to him thusly? She should be trying to soothe him!**.

Alagan knew not to ask anything more of his mother when she spoke to him in that voice. That voice meant that she was angry. Very angry. **Yikes, how many times has he heard her use this voice in order to associate it with anger?**

They left the cottage and traveled for a while before Inanya said to her son, "I am sorry if I upset you earlier, Alagan. I am not angry with you. Adiar has been telling lies, and I cannot live with someone like that." **Well you shouldn't have been living with him in the first place-you are married to another man! GAHHHH! *bashes head angrily on keyboard***

There was silence between them for a while before Alagan ventured, "Why are you not with my father?"

**"Because I'm a lazy, dirty, despicable woman who fails epically at life."**

"I was taken before you were born. You and I would be with him now, but Adair never told your father that I was alive," she explained.

They walked in silence before Inanya spoke again. "Since we shall be living outside for a while, I think that I should teach you how to conceal yourself." **Oh for the love of it all, he's three or four years old! The two of you will be totally fine traveling from town to town. And Alagan probably can't do the hard walking that's necessary anyways-he'll have to be carried from time to time.**

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><p>It was a chilly evening in the late fall. Halt was, as usual, in his cottage with Gilan <strong>GILAN! I LOVE GILAN! Not as much as I love Halt, but I always get a huge grin whenever I read his name for the first time<strong>, his apprentice. "Has there ever been a female Ranger?" Gilan asked his master.

Halt felt a pang of sorrow, remembering his deceased wife. He had not stopped missing her since the day she went missing **using "missing" twice in a sentence (even with two different meanings)=HUGE FLASHING NO-NO**. "Yes, there has been," he answered emotionlessly.

"Can you tell me about her?" the apprentice wondered.

Halt groaned. "Never enough to satisfy you **this is a dependent clause, not a sentence, and it makes me sad because it's all alone and has no subject or verb (please pardon my inner grammar geek)**. Her name was Inanya and she was stationed very close to here** ...and she was stationed here, in this cabin for a while...*ahem***. Though she was female, her skill was just as good, if not better, than the other Rangers. She was captured and, most likely, killed," he told Gilan, sorrow entering his voice and eyes.** Okay, a lot of people couldn't get through something that without showing emotion, but I think Halt could manage it (or at least do a better job than he did here). Hellooooo, _Enterprise_.**

"Did you know her?" Gilan questioned. **Okay, now is the time to beat me with sticks. I've officially made Gilan sound like a complete and total ditzbag. There is no hope for past-me.**

**And now, after the flogging, the sarcasm! Well, they really should know one another, but you never know in this story...the Corps is lacking a core. (haha, sorry, you have no idea how badly I wanted to make that awful joke) But seriously-there are only fifty people in the Corps. They need to interact regularly. Plus, Halt specifically mentioned that Inanya lived near him. So how the heck is he not supposed to know her?**

"Yes, I did. She was not quite like anyone else I've ever known. Inanya was a brave woman and the Ranger Corps is at a loss without her," Halt continued.

Gilan had never seen his master so sad. _She truly must have been amazing_, he thought. **Oh Gilan, if only you knew the whole story of their terribly sugary romance...**

**And on a side note, the only amazing things about Inanya are her name and her massive neglect of her marriage.**

* * *

><p>Later that night, Halt stared at the ceiling, thinking of Inanya <strong><em>"...cuz when I'm with him I am thinking of you, thinking of youuuuuu..."<em>**

**Oh dang, here comes more OOC Halt singing.**

**Halt sitting on a chair, singing dramatically to his mirror, a-la Katy Perry in her "Thinking of You" video.**

**"...what you would do if YOUUUUUU were the one who was spending the niiiiiiight...oh I wish that IIIIIIIIIII was looking into your eyes..."**

**He gets up from said chair and begins walking around the cabin, still singing dramatically...**

**"OH WON'T YOU WALK THROUGH...and bust in the doooor and take me awaaaaayyyyyyy..."**

**Cut to Halt sitting on his porch, looking dramatically off into the distance as he sings, "Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feeeeeeel youuuu...that is how I know youuuuu...go onnnnn...**

**"Far across the distance and spaces betweeeeeen us, you have come to show you...go onnnnn..."**

**Halt begins walking dramatically through the woods as he gestures broadly and obscurely to his surroundings. "NEARRRR...FARRRRR...WHEREVERRRR YOUUU AREEE...I BELIEEEEEEVE THAT THE HEART DOES...GO ONNNNNNNN!"**

**At this point, Gilan, who heard a strange sound, walks out into the woods and sees his master singing dramatically:**

**"Loooove can touch us one time...and last for a liiiiiifetiiiiimeee..."**

**So Gilan goes ahead and does what any logical person would do-he backs Halt up with a little bit of interpretive dancing.**

**The song progresses to the dramatic key change. Gilan does an epic stag-like leap through the trees as Halt continues, "YOUUUUUR'EEE...HEEEEREEEE! THERE'S NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOTHING I FEAR...AND I KNOW-OH THAT MY HEART WILL...GO ONNNNNNNNNNNN!"**

**Lol, this is just too much fun. :)**

He wished that Gilan hadn't brought her up. It had made him even more restless than normal **Halt really doesn't strike me as a restless person-he works hard enough in the day. Plus, Inanya's been gone for a while-he shouldn't still be losing sleep over her regularly**. Despite the years that had passed since he learned of her death, he had never stopped missing her-or loving her. He drifted off, Inanya still on his mind.

_"I am sorry for keeping you waiting, Halt," Inanya told him._

_She walked towards him, and he leaned in to kiss her after all these months..._

**Wait, so she's walking towards him and he's randomly hovering in nether-space, waiting to kiss her? That's slightly odd.**

Halt awoke with a start, looking beside him. Inanya was not there well obviously, though he had not expected her. Another dream. No more.** MELODRAMA. *dramatic music plays***

**And on a side note, why are fragments so melodramatic? Is there something epic about the inability to form a complete thought? (Judging from some of the papers I've read, not really.) Oh dear, it's the return of the English Grammar Freak. (See? Now that was dramatic and a complete sentence.)**


	7. Fiasco

**A/N: Yet another chapter of awful-ness and plot holes-and sarcastic comments, of course! No OOC Halt, sadly, but Inanya does plenty of things worth mocking. Before I forget, I'd like to thank everyone for reviewing-your comments make my day! And for anyone who's following **_**Cadere**_** as well, the new chapter will be up on August 19.**

**Oh, and congrats to .4444, who was the first person to correctly guess what soundtrack the title to Chapter 1 came from-**_**Lord of the Rings**_**!**

**Well...I still don't own **_**Ranger's Apprentice**_**, nor do I own **_**The Big Bang Theory, Harry Potter**_**, and "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Carroll.**

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><p>Inanya and Alagan were close to Redmont and neither had been so excited for a long time. Four years had passed<strong> how in the world could it take them four freakin' YEARS to get to Redmont! Yes, it isn't exactly a stroll through the park, but we're talking a few months, depending on how quickly they move. But hey, Inanya hasn't really been in that much of a hurry to get back, so...you never know<strong> since they set out from Adair's house. Alagan now possessed concealment skills that no other child of his age had. Inanya told him many times how proud she was of him-and how proud Halt would be of him. They were unbelievably close when Inanya felt something hit her-**woohoo! I get approximately five seconds to revel in excitement about Inanya getting knocked out again before I go back to shamelessly commenting on this story!**

* * *

><p>Feeling barely alive <strong>I <em>wish<em> she was barely alive**, Inanya pulled herself off the ground. Looking around, she saw an obvious trail leading from where she was **people really like underestimating her, don't they? "Oh hey, look, I trampled over half the forest...ah, she's not gonna notice..." Inanya might be pathetic, but I think that her vision is fully functional**. Her mind was numb from the same poison that had afflicted her the last time she was captured, though more potent **and again she assumes that she's been captured. And she's still able to recognize that she's poisoned while she's poisoned. Oh, the horror of this deja vu**. It was early morning, and Inanya could see that she was close to Morgarath's realm** I wouldn't really call it a "realm"-Sauron has a realm. Morgarath has a hideout**. From this and the mountains to her left, she could safely assume that she had ended up in the Solitary Plain.

Glancing around, she searched for any sign of life..._Alagan_! He was not here! **Oh frabjous day! Callooh! Callay! (Sorry, random urge to quote Lewis Carroll. Fun fact: he was actually a very accomplished mathematician. Not that you care or anything, but hey, knowledge is power.)**

At least her adrenaline rush had cleared her head enough to track him **jeez, whoever manufactures this poison needs to make sure that it takes a little more than an adrenaline rush to push through it**. She began to follow the trail, unseen. ***ominous music***

* * *

><p>After several hours of tracking<strong> wait, this obvious trail went on for several hours-and she didn't encounter anyone? Wow, nice job there. *sarcasm sign*<strong>, the trail led Inanya to a large black horse. She dared not get too close to it for fear of alerting its master. Standing still, she scanned the land. Against a nearby tree, she sensed a presence **what is she, Professor Trelawney? "I sense a presence...from the BEYOND!**". As she approached, she saw that the form was Alagan. She tiptoed up behind him and cut the ropes that bound her son** again, her random captor didn't take the knives? Sheesh, if this is the same guy who captured her last time, s/he really has not learned a thing. And apparently, said captor doesn't care if Alagan stays or not, since no one's guarding him.** "Alagan, go towards the mountains. Conceal yourself above all, but move as quickly as you can while remaining hidden. I will meet you soon, but go!" she urged him.

The child of eight nodded and moved cautiously but quickly across the land. Inanya moved towards the presence she sensed**...from the beyond. Speaking of which, what is "the beyond?" Is it like heaven, purgatory, or hell-or is it just this giant pool of souls, like in the Disney version of _Hercules_?**. She drew close to the black-cloaked figure and held her knife against its neck. "I fear not the dark," **what are you, an exorcist or something?** she uttered before delivering a successful blow to the figure. **Wow, this guy pretty much wins at life *sarcasm sign*. He just got ambushed by his captive.**

It was enough. The figure staggered, and Inanya took the chance to run. **Question: what else would she do? Stand there and mock her captor (which would have some novelty to it, but ultimately would be kind of a bad idea)?**

* * *

><p>They were safe. <strong>But I am not safe from the horrible cliche that began this section.<strong>

Alagan and Inanya were away from their mysterious pursuer **when did s/he pursue them? This person is their captor, not their pursuer.** Inanya took this time to examine her son. "Your left arm has a bad gash and your ankle is twisted **hold the phone, how could he run with a twisted ankle?**. What did they do to you?" she asked.

"I do not know," he answered. **Yeesh, was he given the poorly manufactured drug as well? At least it seemed to work on him, though.**

* * *

><p><strong>REWIND...back to where Inanya gets hit (oh, how happy it makes me to imagine that...) because I was epic *sarcasm sign* enough to rewrite this part because I didn't think it was awful enough the first time-*ahem*, um, I meant GOOD enough, since this was written by brain-dead fifteen-year-old me.<strong>

* * *

><p>Inanya awoke, feeling absolutely rotten <strong>yeah, I feel that way sometimes. Like when I realize how awful this thing really is<strong>. At least her capturer **"capturer?" _Really_? That is an awful word that makes its user sound like a dumb fifteen-year-old girl who can't write a decent fanfic...oh wait.** had been kind enough to move her bow and quiver aside so that she was flat on the barren ground of the Solitary Plain **apparently said "capturer" was also kind enough to let her keep her weapons**. Glancing to her right, she saw Alagan bound, lying about fifty meters away **okay, this at least makes more sense than the previous situation-whoever captured/ambushed/whatever-ed these two would probably keep them fairly close to one another**. In the distance, she could hear the depressing wail of the Stone Flutes.

A shadowy figure approached her **okay, at least she's not sensing him from "the beyond" this time**. Inanya knew that if she wanted to escape alive with Alagan, she would have to fake it out **fake _what_ out?** from the beginning. "I see you've come. Now perhaps we can...ah..._negotiate_," she said in a voice so seductive that she sickened herself. **Umm...wouldn't this be a little awkward if the "shadowy figure" was another woman? And how does she even know that this person is the one responsible for attacking her-s/he could just be a guard, which would actually make sense.**

"And how do you plan to go about that?" he wondered. **Phew. It's a dude. This makes the situation slightly less awkward.**

She guessed from the voice that the man was Morgarath **that's a tad far-fetched, but I suppose that Morgarath does have a distinctively evil voice**. "First, liberate my companion. Then, I will see what I can do for you," she suggested coyly. **Ah yes, my twisted morality phase. During this time, all of my villains were sex-obsessed and my lead couples kissed every three seconds. It made sense at the time, but now, I just shake my head scornfully.**

**On a side note, Morgarath doesn't strike me as the kind of villain who would be interested in sex anyways (well, he didn't strike me as that sort of person in my second trip through RA). He'd probably just torture his captives.**

He unbound her hands and allowed her to go to Alagan **wow, that's smart-just let your captives chill and converse. It's not like they'll make an escape plan or anything...** Morgarath was smart enough to know that she would not run.** Dude, she's a Ranger. She has her bow and arrows. If she can get a few meters away before shooting, you're a dead man. And there's a good possibility she might try it-it's two against one here.**

Inanya crouched over her son, untying his wrists and ankles. "Alagan, can you see those mountains?"

**"The giant hunks of land sticking up out of the earth? Nah, I don't think I can see those..."**

He nodded. "Walk towards them at first, but when I become hard to see, run as fast as you can to a safe place," she said, her tone low and urgent.

"Mother, what's going on?" her son wondered. **Dude, you were captured. Now you're not. Just accept it gleefully and get the heck out of here.**

"I can't tell you now, dear. Wait for me at a safe place, but if I follow you, keep going. I will be fine," she promised. **Well that kind of didn't make sense. Isn't she going to follow him either way?**

Casually, Alagan began strolling away. _Lord, protect him_, Inanya prayed silently **now would be a good time to pray, methinks**, returning to Morgarath.

"Now...what do you want in exchange?" she said knowingly.

"Information about Halt for your life **whoa, hold your horses dude...if you've been following her at all for the past several years, you'd know that she hasn't had any contact with Halt in almost a decade. She could pretty much tell you where he lived ten years ago, but that's all. Oh yeah, and that she's his wife and this is his kid...come to think of it, why doesn't he just torture them? That'd be a good way to get back at Halt (although the whole "I'll kill your family slowly and painfully before I kill you" thing is a tad bit overdone)**. For your freedom and the freedom of your son, I want...a bit _more_," he suggested, eyes sliding over her body lustfully. **He is sooooo not a lust villain. I can't imagine Morgarath's eyes doing anything but staring coldly and mercilessly into the eyes of his victim(s) who is/are frightened like deer in the headlights.**

"Well then...no need to delay," Inanya realized flirtatiously **seriously, how can she do this when she's supposedly still in love with her husband? I mean, she screamed her head off at the last guy who tried to get with her-where's that devotion (or lack thereof) now? And for the love of God, she's a Ranger-she's trained in the art of fighting, not the art of seduction (although I could proceed to make a comment or two about how, since she got pregnant so dang fast, Halt might beg to differ)**, silently pulling her saxe knife from its sheath and hiding it up her right sleeve. **Oh Morgarath, your newfound role as a lust villain has addled your mind. Poor guy can't even remember to disarm her...*sigh***

They took a step towards one another, and Inanya placed a hand around Morgarath's shoulders, moving him closer. She leaned towards him, acting as if she were about to kiss him **wow, the chick really has very few inhibitions.** A second or so before their lips met **cutting it rather close there, aren't you m'dear?**, she whipped out the dagger from her sleeve and stabbed him in the shoulder **question: when you're that close, wouldn't you have a fairly good shot at his heart?**. "You sicken me," she muttered **hmm, and you practically kissed him? Interesting. The shrink will be with you in just a moment, Inanya (O'Carrick).**, giving the knife an extra thrust before pulling it out and running.

Morgarath stumbled. He fell to the ground, hands clutching his wound **oh, if only you knew how cheesy this looked in my mind...*shakes head***, as the Ranger scampered **Rangers don't scamper. Maybe they scurry, but they certainly don't scamper** off. There was no hope of catching her...he couldn't even tell where she was.

As Inanya ran, she shuddered **finally, she's starting to feel guilty!**. Though she had not done anything to break her marriage vows **um, you basically offered yourself to your husband's greatest enemy, flirted shamelessly with him, and nearly kissed him! I'd say that that's pushing the limits there-even if it was to save your pathetic skin**, she still was sickened with what she had to do to escape. When she was a safe distance away, she bent to clean her knife **just a suggestion-you might want to put a little more distance between you and the villain before cleaning your knife. Yes, his blood is disgusting, but it won't damage your saxe knife for a while**. She jumped back up and ran, looking for Alagan.

It took her only a moment to spot him. She put on an extra burst of speed to catch up with him. "Slow down, dear," she ordered her son as she came up beside him.

Alagan nodded and slowed to a fast walk **um, they should probably still be running...** beside his mother. "Who _is_ that man?" he asked incredulously.

"He is the most evil man in all of Araluen ***pause before ominous music***. His name is Morgarath ***ominous music***, and you do not understand how lucky we are to even be alive," she explained. **You know what'd be luckier? If you died. That would amuse me deeply.**

* * *

><p>It was the end of winter up in the mountains <strong>whoa dude, what are they doing in the mountains?<strong>. The winter had not been easy for Alagan, now ten, or Inanya. "Mother, why are you and Father separated?" Alagan wondered. **Didn't she already explain this to him? Like, last chapter or something?**

Inanya sighed **yeah, me too**. "Over ten years ago, your father and I were living together in a village near the castle of Redmont** no, you lived IN Redmont Fief. Sheesh, I fail epically at geography and I knew that...** We were married for about three months before Morgarath attacked. Halt-your father **seriously? He wouldn't be able to recognize Halt as his father-and he's ten? Wow, well done, Inanya. *sarcasm sign***-was the one who lead heavy cavalry down the Slipsunder to rid the place of Morgarath's Wargals. I followed him and was knocked out and taken by someone. I ended up in the Fens where Adair found me," she recited. **Um, WE ALREADY KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! We had to read it. Please, Inanya, do not torture us further.**

"I remember Adair a bit. You yelled at him very loudly because he lied to you and to Father," the child recalled.

Inanya laughed softly **this is not really a laughing matter** before continuing, "Yes, I was very angry with him, especially since Rangers who lie are thrown out of the Ranger Corps **and you've done what to alert the Corps about this? Oh yeah, the same thing you always do-NOTHING**!. Anyways, I took you and we traveled towards Redmont **dude, he knows this part of the story-he lived it.**. We were both captured again, and...here we are now."

There was a moment of silence before Alagan questioned, "Do you love Father very much?"

**"Well, since I lived with a random shady Ranger for four years, then offered myself to your dad's greatest rival, apparently I don't."**

"Yes. I love him more than I can ever say **_really_ now?**, and if there is anything good left in this world, he loves me in return, although he thinks me to be dead," she confessed.

They both gazed on the horizon, thinking of the one they longed to see. **Oh cliches, why must you appear so frequently? It sickens me.**


	8. Arrival

**A/N: All my stuff is packed up for college (well, most of it) and I'll be down there...well, soon enough. I still have two more chapters of this to type, and I don't know when they'll be up-that'll depend on how things go once classes start. And the anxiety nightmares have begun. :P Ah well, whenever I had calculus nightmares, my tests turned out all right-maybe the same's true here.**

**As always, thank you so much for your reviews-I love being able to make people laugh with this story!**

**I don't own **_**Ranger's Apprentice, The Big Bang Theory, Lord of the Rings, Star Trek**_**, West Side Story (or whatever musical the "I Feel Pretty" song comes from) "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion, or "I Will Always Love You" by Whitney Houston. This saddens me. Also, I don't own _Twilight_, which makes me feel like a pretty epic person.  
><strong>

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><p>It was a typical evening in the area of Redmont-or so it seemed <strong>of course-things always happen in the boring places, not the interesting ones<strong>. Inanya and Alagan, now fourteen **wow, four more years...way to put on speed, guys**, were close to Halt's cottage. A few hours away, Inanya stopped Alagan. "Before we meet Halt, there are a few things you need to know. He is a guarded man, so do not expect him to welcome me immediately **and she's never mentioned anything about this before**?. Do not think he does not love me because of what he says at first," she informed him.

Alagan nodded gravely, observing his mother's statement. "You are so much like him, Alagan. He will be proud of you," Inanya promised her son. **Okay, this is going to sound terribly mean, but what has he really done that would induce Halt's pride?**

They continued towards Halt's cottage at the edge of the village. "No need to knock; he'll know we are here," Inanya whispered, standing in front of the door.

* * *

><p>Halt sat completely still, turning his head towards the door. "What is it?" Will, Halt's apprentice, asked. <strong>Gee, he's looking towards the door-I wonder what it could be? *sarcasm sign*<strong>

"Get back. Someone is at the door," the Ranger ordered quietly. **Hmm, getting paranoid, aren't we? Wouldn't he be able to tell it's Inanya-I mean, he can identify Gilan's gait (according to book 2) and he knew/had regular encounters with Inanya for about the same amount of time, so...**

Will did as he was told. Silently, Halt moved towards the door **question: do Rangers do anything _not_ silently?**. He opened it and nearly stopped breathing from shock **I wish this whole story stopped breathing from shock**.

It was Inanya.

In addition to his wife, there was also, he noted, a boy of about fourteen years. For this reason, Halt saw it as best to remain emotionless.

"Good evening, Halt" she said, perfectly calmly. **"It's not like you'd be shocked to see me because I'm kind of supposed to be dead or anything ridiculous like that."**

On the inside, Inanya was anything but calm. Halt was more handsome than ever **you know, reading that statement made the little book-crush fire inside of me that has Halt's name on it flare u**p, though he had aged since she last saw him **that's what tends to happen to people as time goes by-well, in most cases**.

"You were taken for dead long ago," Halt informed her. **I'm pretty sure I stole that statement from _Lord of the Rings_ or some other well-known work of fantasy. Jeez, now that's going to bother me.**

"I figured that is what you were told," Inanya said, strengthening the sarcastic edge of her voice. **"But I chose to be a lazy bum and do absolutely nothing about it."**

"Then what happened to you?" he wondered. **Oh Halt, I love you, but did you really have to ask that? I think we've all been tortured enough, thank you very much.**

"I was captured by some unknown force **you're really stuck on this whole "I was captured" thing, aren't you?**, drugged, and dropped in the Fens, two and a half months pregnant **gotta love how she sneaks that in there... "oh yeah, and by the way, I was pregnant during this process, which means that either I was a crappy wife and didn't say anything or I was an even worse crappy wife and the kid's not yours."**. I met Adair and lived with him for four years after my son **she really is not doing anything to reassure Halt here- "my son" instead of "our son..." hmm, this is looking sketchy** was born. When I saw Adair for what he was, I left and took Alagan-my son **sheesh, and you do it again!**-towards here. We were captured again six years ago and headed this way by a different route," Inanya answered crisply. **WE ALREADY KNOW THIS. And we would've died of boredom while reading it were it not for my lovely sarcastic comments (and some of the moments that were so bad they were laughable).**

Halt could not help but be impressed by her **you know, she really has not done anything impressive, except giving birth-from what I hear, that's not exactly an afternoon stroll through the park**. He could not tell whether she still loved him or not. To resolve this, he questioned, "Who is Alagan's father?"** You know, I really can't blame him for asking so bluntly because, after hearing all those sketchy little hints in Inanya's story, it's probably pretty IC for him to be this straightforward. Were I in his position, I'd probably be just as curious.**

This statement softened Inanya. Daringly, she placed her right hand upon Halt's left shoulder **we're getting specific here, aren't we?** and told him: "You are the only man I have ever loved, Halt **don't even get me started on how much I disagree with that statement**. Alagan is your son **about time you confirmed that!**, and I am sorry that it took us so long to reach you." **Yeah, because one apology should smooth over fifteen years of waiting and worrying. Not to mention the fact that you did not ONCE contact him during this time period, though you were totally capable of doing so (except when giving birth, although I suppose that's kind of a matter of dedication-do you really want to focus on anything other than having your child at that particular moment?)**

He knew **wait, what did he know?**. He could see that there was something left...so he reached for it. "Inanya, I would wait an age if it meant that I could be with you for only a moment." **Poor Halt. I really hope that his stomach agrees better with space travel on the _Enterprise_ than it does with sea travel, because he's spending a heck of a lot of time on that ship.**

Inanya took her left hand from behind her back, revealing that she still wore the slender silver band about her left marriage finger. **I believe I already gave you my spiel on wedding rings. On that note, I think Halt would understand if she'd sold the ring in order to get home (or at least contact him, jeez).**

With shocking speed **that _totally_ sounds like a line from a really cheesy comic book**, Halt moved towards Inanya, giving her the fullest kiss of her life **they're kind of standing right in front of one another-how much moving is actually involved?**. As they moved apart, he revealed, "I never truly gave up on you, my dear ***facepalm* This is so awfully cheesy and OOC that I can't think of an appropriate sarcastic response. Although I just realized that if Halt were real and he read this story sans the green/bold, I would probably be dead about...oh, a hundred and twelve times by now. Something like that. (Contrastingly, if he read it with the green, we might end up being best friends.)**. Besides, I could not love anyone else...not while you still have my heart." **Oh dear God, he did _not_ just say that. That sounds so Edward Cullen (not a good thing).**

She gave him a quick peck on the lips** again with the pecking-I'm imagining them making wings with their arms (hands under the armpits) and running around flapping-which is pretty amusing, though don't even get me started on the OOC-ness of it**. "Come in," he suggested.

Both Inanya and Alagan **wait, so Alagan's been standing here awkwardly the whole time while his parents reunite and basically make out in front of him? Jeez, poor kid** walked inside the cottage, feeling as if they were home at last. **Why would Alagan feel at home-the last time he was here, he was barely an embryo! If I were the poor kid, I'd feel horribly awkward.**

* * *

><p>Halt had told Will to get back, but curiosity conquered the order <strong>well technically, if Halt moved forward towards the door and Will remained in his previous position, it could be said that, from some vantage points that Will did, in fact, obey his mentor (See kids? This is what calculus does to people who don't plan on using it after they pass the AP test.)<strong>. Will concealed himself **the paranoia spreads** and watched Halt answer the door. He could see a female Ranger and a boy about his own age standing on the other side.

"Good evening, Halt," he heard the woman say. **Oh jeez, we're going to be forced to relive this whole thing.**

Halt's reply, unsurprisingly, was too quiet for Will to pick up, save: "for dead...ago."

Will could not hear the woman's response, but her voice had a sarcastic edge to it. The low murmur of Halt's voice ***dreamy sigh*** came again. This time, when the woman spoke, Will could hear: "captured by some unknown force...dropped in the Fens...Adair...my son...captured again six years...route."

Obviously, it made no sense at all to Will **if I were him, I'd conclude that her son was named Adair, who somehow is connected to the Fens and was captured**, and he could not see how Halt fit into it **well thanks, Captain Obvious *sarcasm sign***. As Will pondered the fragments he had caught, Halt said something, his voice more gentle now. The woman placed her hand upon his shoulder and said something that Will could catch none of. **POOR GRAMMAR ALERT-preposition at the end of a sentence! I should've said, "something of which Will couldn't hear" because "something of which Will could catch none" sounds extremely funky.**

Halt's voice came through with perfect clarity. "Inanya, I would wait an age if it meant that I could be with you for only a moment." **Well, now that we've had to relive the awful cheesiness of this statement, might as well describe how exactly it's OOC. If Halt really wanted to be with Inanya, he wouldn't be all wishy-washy about it-it'd be all or nothing. And although he would show that kind of fierce loyalty to someone he loved, he'd want her forever, not just a moment. Something like, "I never gave up hope" would be a lot more IC (although still slightly off-base), though it retains the awful cliche factor.**

Will was shocked. He had _never_ heard Halt say anything like that ever **yeah, me neither, Will**. He stood in shock. As he slowed his racing mind, he saw Halt move towards the woman and kiss her-on the mouth.

Now will was even more shocked **congratulations, Will-like the current readers and author of this story, you have spotted the OOC**. Quietly, he pinched himself to make sure he was awake **you and me both, Will.**

He was. **Sadly, the worst is yet to come.**

Halt led the woman and the boy into the cottage. Will scurried back to where he was supposed to be hiding.

A moment later, Halt called, "Come out, Will."** Because it's not like he knew that Will was listening to the whole conversation-he doesn't have any sort of special Ranger hearing skill or something like that...*scoffs***

Will moved to where Halt, the woman, and the boy were standing. "Will, this is my wife, Inanya, and our son, Alagan. Inanya, Alagan, this is my apprentice Will," he introduced them.

Will looked at Inanya. She was about the same height as Halt with a slender build. Despite how beautiful she was, with her hair windswept and her cheeks rosy, Will saw that she was powerful. When he at last met eyes with her, she arched her brows warningly at him **when re-reading this part, I pictured Inanya as one of those horribly cliche warrior princess women that appears on the covers of fantasy novels-you know, the ones that are so perfect that it's obvious they've been Photoshopped.** He looked away hurriedly, inferring that she did not like to be looked at. **Hmm, yet another preposition problem, although I'm not quite sure if this one can be fixed. Ah well, it's a very finicky rule either way.**

"Pleased to meet you," Inanya said to Will, her voice bearing a sardonic edge, though it was there naturally **I love over-describing her voice, don't I?**.

He nodded in acknowledgement before something clicked in his mind. "You're married?" he asked Halt.

"Obviously, or I would not have introduced Inanya as my wife," Halt stated **WELCOME BACK HOME, HALT! It's about time! (And on a random side note, my...well, the program I'm using to write this [Pages, the Mac equivalent of Word] underlined the exclamation points in green and told me, "This sequence of punctuation marks is unusual." It's pretty usual if IC Halt has finally returned, if only for a moment.)** , rather frustrated with Will for being so naïve.

"Where has she been?" Will wondered.

"She has been on the far end of Araluen working her way here for ten years," Halt supplied. **And you seem...perfectly fine with that. Dang...don't get too comfortable, IC Halt...you're going to be back on the _Enterprise_ before you know it.**

Will still had many unanswered questions **as do I, Will...** "Will, show Alagan the stables," Halt ordered his apprentice. **"I'm totally not using this as an excuse to be alone with my wife, so show the boy who arrived here on foot the stables because apparently, they are of some great and drastic importance in the scheme of our lives."**

Internally sighing, Will went out to the stables with Alagan behind him. **I love how they both totally go along with it without giving Halt and Inanya crap. "So, are you sending us to the stables because you're planning to go out and _take a ride?_" (oh dear, pardon my mind for a sec)**

The moment they were out of the door, Halt took Inanya's hands, lacing his fingers with hers **yeah, I figured something like that was just seconds away**. Slowly, he stepped towards her and kissed her slowly** I totally didn't need to use "slowly" twice in that sentence**. Quite a bit later, they moved apart, fingers still intwined. "Tell me what happened when you were with Adair," he commanded, but in the gentle voice that he only used with Inanya. **Real Halt probably wouldn't be that gentle. He'd want to know what the heck was the deal with this situation.**

"Between us, nothing **and I think that's all Halt really cared about-well mostly**. As far as I can remember, I never even touched the man **and you were at his house when you had your kid...? Hmm, I'm kind of curious as to how that works**. After Alagan was born, I could not go to the Ranger Corps meetings **because apparently bringing my infant son would be too big of a scandal for the Corps to handle**, so the first time there was one after Alagan was born, I requested that Adair say that I was staying with him and alive **I know that this realization is a little late, but why couldn't she just write a letter to Halt and have Adair give it to him? Not saying that he would, but it's a lot more solid than resting the fate of a bunch of stuff on one guy's word.** I also told him to tell you that I love you and the child is yours, but he found me more important than the truth. The day I decided to set out, he asked for my hand **lol, great timing, dude...she's going off to find her husband and you're popping the question**. Naturally, I declined, and he mentioned something about all he had done to have me. Something fell into place in my mind, and I knew that he had lied about it all," she confessed with a heavy sigh.

Halt kissed her slowly again. "I respect all you have done, Inanya **WOW, HOLY MOTHER OF OOC! Halt would _not_ respect the fact that she slacked off for all those years or the fact that she lived with another man. Come to think of it, he'd be pretty ticked off if she showed up at his door with a bucket of such crummy excuses.** Few, if any, can say that they have raised a child in the open land with no home for ten years, being completely independent, and survived with no damage," he said to her. **You know why that feat is so uncommon? BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE ARE SMART ENOUGH TO GET A HORSE OR SOME OTHER FORM OF TRANSPORTATION SO THEY CAN GET THEMSELVES AND THEIR FREAKING CHILDREN BACK TO THEIR INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE HUSBANDS.**

"Now that I am able to be with you, it is worth it," she stated, kissing him again.

"What is Alagan like?" Halt wondered. **Well _that_ was slightly random. Poor OOC Halt and his random vocal cord spasms.**

"He is like you: serious and focused **um, there is a complete lack of character development in this story-the people never change, nor do they learn from what they did. Alagan is personality-less.** Ever since I told him how we were separated, he was been more intent on reaching you, Halt **hmm, seems like the kid has a leg up on his mommy, then**. No matter how long he has to wait, I am sure he will make a fine Ranger **wait, what? I mean, yeah, both of his parents are Rangers, but that doesn't automatically qualify him. And does he actually want to be a Ranger?**. I had to teach him concealment at the age of four-we would not have survived without it. Not only does he act like you, he looks like you," Inanya told him with a smile.

"Poor child," Halt muttered. **Now THAT sounds like Halt!**

**Let's pause for a moment to revel in that millisecond of IC. Oh, how lovely it is!**

Inanya arched her eyebrows warningly at him **sheesh, take a joke! I mean, you should be thrilled that your husband, after all these pages of OOC, is IC-even if it's just for a second**. "You are as handsome as you have always been. I love you," she finished in a whisper.

They kissed softly.

**I hate how I always tried to end my sections dramatically. As with most other things I did at age fifteen, they were epic fails.**

* * *

><p>"Halt is one of the last people I would expect to be married," Will said to Alagan as they went to the stables. <strong>Me too, Will. That's why I let my book-crush on him run rampant. But he does get married in book 7, so...my poor dreams were crushed.<strong>

"My mother has been telling me about him since I was a small child, so I have always thought of him as a married man," Alagan confessed. **Lol, describing Halt as a "married man" just sounds...weird. I imagine him picking up his briefcase as he kisses Inanya on the cheek. "Bye honey, see you when I get home from the office!"**

**"Oh Halt, you handsome devil," she giggles flirtatiously.**

**They kiss as Alagan and Will simultaneously groan.**

**Halt goes out the door and proceeds down the streets, clad in a business suit as he walks, carrying his briefcase as he sings: "I feel pretty, oh so pretty...!"**

**Needless to say, Halt is the recipient of several odd looks.**

"He never spoke of a wife or a son," Will mused.

"That is because he took my mother for dead about fourteen years ago and never knew of me until tonight," Alagan informed Will. **Yet another shining example of how Inanya wins at life. *sarcasm sign***

"I heard your mother mention a name...Adair. Who was he?" wondered Will.

Alagan let out a short laugh and responded, "Even though he did my mother a great kindness, the lies he told were worse. Before I was born, Adair-he is a Ranger **yeah, who let _him_ into the Corps?**-found my mother in the Fens and let her stay with him. She could not go to the next Ranger's Gathering because I was only a child and **apparently two-month-old babies are massively scandalous to the Corps** I needed her always. So she requested that Adair explain her absence and speak with Father. He said that my father had moved on **this is like the third time we've been forced to relive the previous several chapters of this story. _Please_ make it stop...oh wait, that was my job as the author** Four years she stayed there, raising me to a child, before she found out that Adair had lied and never had explained her absence. I have never heard her yell so loudly at anyone **yes, we know, she was loud-we were there (in a manner of speaking) to experience it**. Naturally, we left. She hates Adair because of what he did to her and my father **and to the rest of the Ranger Corps.**..and I am sure my father shall share that emotion once Mother tells him this."

**Hm, I just had a random thought-since Halt obviously wasn't around to raise Alagan, would Alagan see Adair as a father figure? (One would expect the answer to be "yes," since he didn't really have any other adult males in his life...) Food for thought...**

Will blinked, shocked at the events that had happened. "Your mother is rather an incredible woman," he stated. **Great, now I've gone and ruined Will as well. Shame on me. *lashes self with wet noodle***

"You don't know the half of it **but please, don't torture poor Will**. She and I have lived outside for ten years, and what she does never ceases to shock me **same here, Alagan, except I'm usually shocked in a negative way**. She has the entire land memorized and knows all the best paths to travel **well, that's kind of included in the Araluen Ranger package**. I cannot say anything about her archery skills, since I haven't seen anyone else shoot," Alagan declared. **Yeah, but you don't need a point of comparison to know that Rangers are masters of archery.**

"Now that you tell me about her, I can see why Halt married her **I can't**. Any woman who could do that would be the one Halt would marry," Will noted. **No she wouldn't.**

"What is he like?" Alagain questioned.

"Serious, but a good teacher. I wonder if there is anything that he is not good at," Will said.

"Sounds like my mother," Alagan replied.

The two boys smiled at one another.

**And again with the epically failed dramatic ending. Sheesh...this chapter is so long. It's just starting to make me mad because it's so awful and full of things that deserve to be beaten with a rod.**

* * *

><p>"How large are the stables?" Inanya asked her husband.<p>

"Not very, though they are large enough to distract two boys for long enough for us to have a decent conversation," he responded, kissing her. **See? I _told_ you it was an excuse...**

Inanya smiled to herself. Since Will and Alagan had left, she and Halt had done more kissing than anything **yeah, that's what I figured**. "And we have barely talked about you. What has been happening here in my absence?" Inanya wondered.

**"Well, I sang a little bit, mostly mushy love songs-the best one was that Celine Dion song-you know, the one she sang in _Titanic_...Gilan even backed me up with a little dancing for that one. *pause* Dang, I was going to go out and do 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston tonight, but now *singing*...NOW YOU'RE HERE LIKE YOU'VE BEEN BEFORE AND YOU KNOW...JUST WHAT I NEEEEEEEEED!"**

**Halt clears his throat discreetly. "Sorry...force of habit. Anyways, do you mind if I make a trip out to the woods later? I've been _dying_ to see if I can hit those high notes like Whitney. And I think it's time for me to assess Will's interpretive dance skills."**

"Nothing of extreme significance** oh, there have been _many_ significant moments of OOC, believe you me**. I had an apprentice several years ago...Gilan. Other than that...I have been missing you," he confessed, presenting Inanya with another kiss. **That just sounds weird, like he's handing her a box with a kiss inside. "Merry Christmas, honey!"**

**"Oh Halt, you shouldn't have...how much did you spend?"**

**"The true love package is all-inclusive, baby." *wink***

**Oh, the OOC that I put poor Halt through...  
><strong>

"They are coming back. I think I shall test their skills," she decided, separating her hands from Halt's. **Okay, so the rest of this story is the kind of awful that I can live with and not be too horribly ashamed of. But what is about to happen...oh, I'm going to blush every time someone reads it.**

Inanya wrapped herself in her cloak and concealed herself within a corner **Ranger concealment is more of an outside thing...just saying**. Halt's eyebrows met as he focused on the spot he knew Inanya was at. She was very difficult to make out, even for Halt, who had had more years of practice than her **oh pish posh-he wouldn't even have to think to see her in here. Camo doesn't really work inside.**

The two boys entered the cottage. "Where is Inanya?" Will questioned. **She's in the freaking corner. And I'm probably in the corner as well, cowering of embarrassment.**

"She is my wife, not my shadow, and she has a mind of her own...fortunately **woohoo, welcome home, IC Halt!.** I do not see her.**..and now IC Halt is back on the _Enterprise_. Drat**," he declared.

Immediately, Alagan and Will searched the cottage. Halt watched them intently and also kept his eyes on Inanya at times. He saw her drift from the corner to other locations **oh my gosh, no words can convey the intensity of the facepalm that I am doing right now. It's pretty dang epic**. When only Halt was watching, she sat down in a chair near him **she WOULD sit down in a chair by him...sorry, random angry outburst** and revealed herself. When the two boys turned, they were shocked to see Inanya sitting calmly. "Evening," she said, perfectly serious. **Oh dear God above, somebody please slap me, punch me, or somehow chastise me for that awful scene.**

Neither of the boys had seen her move** I seriously doubt that**. "She found the pattern of your gaze and synchronized her movements with it **Rangers aren't supposed to have a "pattern" to their gazes-they're supposed to scan and make sure that they don't miss a single movement**, though I would have been surprised if you had caught sight of her anyways **not me**. That is a skill that few Rangers can achieve," Halt informed them **Unseen movement? Yeah, there aren't a lot of Rangers who can master that one...*sarcasm sign*.**

"When your life depends upon a skill, developing it becomes crucial and easier," Inanya said.

Will and Alagan nodded, absorbing their lesson.

**Jeez, did I seriously do this three times in a row? Oh dear mother of pearl. :P**

* * *

><p>Later that night, after Will and Alagan were asleep, Halt and Inanya lay awake, talking. Her head was upon his chest, her body turned towards his, nestled against it; and her arms about him. He kept an arm around her waist. <strong>See, now that was actually kind of sweet, until that last sentence. It was too spartan, so it just killed the vibe.<strong>

"Halt?"

"Yes, I am listening." **Wait, why would they have to go through with this if they were already talking?**

"I am sorry that I kept you waiting all these years," she apologized quietly. **Again, that should _totally_ make up for all those years of infidelity and slacking. *sarcasm sign***

"I know, my dear **No matter how badly Halt missed and/or loved a woman, he would never "my dear" her**. Seeing you now is more than I ever hoped for," he revealed.

There was a moment's pause between them before Halt wondered, "Inanya, who do you think captured you?" **Jeez, they're really taking this capturing thing all the way, aren't they?**

She sighed heavily before replying, "I think it was Morgarath **you're going all out, aren't you?**. He probably knew that it was a Ranger who had organized the cavalry...and I was rather careless." **Sheesh, about time you admitted it!**

Halt's brow furrowed **okay, now let's address this. "Brow" is a singular noun, which implies that Halt has a unibrow. Oh dear, mental images...** Inanya...careless? **yeah dude, that's how she lives**. He could hardly think of anything less accurate. **I could think of _a lot of_ things that are less accurate. Like you singing.** "You were not careless," he defied. **Actually, she was.**

"I was, Halt."

**See? Even _she_ admits it!**

"No, you were not. The second time, at least, you were drugged beforehand. I assume you shot an animal that had the poison in it **and the poison is somehow harmless to the animal? Interesting.**, an undetectable poison that works through the body slowly, numbing one's senses **Wow, I...don't even know what to say about that. It's just so impossibly ridiculous. Even if this "captor" knew where she was, he'd have to poison literally every animal in the area if he wanted to be sure that Inanya got poisoned by this**. At the time of the cavalry, I take it your mind was filled okay, **one for two-if this was anyone besides Halt, we could live with that. However, this is Halt, so...the conclusion that must be reached is that Real Halt is on the _Enterprise_. Yet again.** Does that explain it?" he finished.

**No, it explains absolutely nothing.**

Inanya moved a bit closer to her husband **she's basically laying on him right now; if she moved any closer, she'd be...well, never mind**. "It makes sense **in what universe? Not even on the _Enterprise_ would something like that make sense**. You are right, as you often have been," she noticed. **Okay, IC Halt is good with the whole strategy shebang. But OOC Halt...oh, he's all over the place.**

He turned to kiss her. "I love you, Inanya. You mean the world to me..." **Oh my gosh, the mushiness is just too much to take...! Could he get any more cliche?**

Halt paused for a long while before Inanya sat up to look at him. "Are you all right?" she wondered.

**"I'm all right, but I'm kind of drowning in all of this cliche."**

"I suppose I am fine...though I cannot seem to find words to describe how I love you," he professed. **Someone call the news crew. We've just entered the uncharted territory of Romantic Cliche.**

Overwhelmed with bliss **why? The world of cliches as we know it just expanded-it's not really something to get excited about**, Inanya kissed him ardently. "No words could have matched the power of what you just said," she informed him. **Yeah, they were pretty powerful, but not in the way that Inanya thinks.**

For the first time in many years, Halt smiled **okay, Halt's smiles are rare, but I seriously doubt he went 15 years without smiling...especially since Halt can totally pull off the "watch it, cuz you're gonna die soon" smile**. Inanya kissed him slowly, attempting to communicate her feelings for him. "I love you," she whispered. **oh my gosh, can we stop with the terms of endearment? We get it-you love one another. Let's move on.**

He kissed her briefly **sheesh, how many times have they kissed in this chapter alone?**. "I missed you every moment, Inanya. Though I never expected you to return, I could not help but love you and wish that I could see you again," he declared. **Well that didn't sound a thing like Halt. Or any guy, really.**

"We have a lot of catching up to do, Halt** pshyeah, I'd say**, but I think that the rest of it should be left for tomorrow," Inanya decided.

"One last thing, Inanya...why do you think Morgarath was on the Solitary Plain?" **Oh, assumptions, assumptions...**

"Kalkara **Wow, that's a bit of a leap, don't you think? I don't recall any Kalkara out there...** I think that he was planning to test them on Alagan **wait, what?** but shamelessly torture information out of me and weaken me as much as possible before turning them on me **Okay, judging by how sloppily you were captured, I doubt any of that would've ever happened, but at least it sounds more like Morgarath than the whole lust thing**. Please do not tell Alagan **well judging by the massive plot holes and inconsistencies in the rest of your theory, he might already somehow know that the Kalkara were after him**...I do not want him to know unless he must," she answered.

"I barely know the boy. I do not plan on telling him about the Kalkara anytime soon," Halt stated grimly.

Inanya caressed his face tenderly.** I just can't imagine Halt enjoying this gesture. In reality, a woman trying to caress Halt's face would go something like this:**

**She ran her hand slowly across his face in a loving caress.**

**"What on earth do you think you're doing?" Halt inquired.**

**"I-um, well, I was just touching your face!" she defended herself, shocked.**

**He raised an eyebrow at her. "If you hadn't noticed, the particular part of my face you were touching is covered in my beard. Now, I don't know about you, but where I come from, it's not normal for women to pet men's faces."**

"We can change that. One of his greatest ambitions has been to know you," she told Halt.

"He has others then," he observed.

"Yes, and if you want to learn them, you'll have to ask Alagan," she informed him. **Oh, ha ha ha, you're being _sooooooo_ cryptic...**

Halt arched an eyebrow at her, but only said, "Goodnight, Inanya. I love you," before going to blow out the candle that lit the small room. **He probably wouldn't have to get up-he could just crane his neck awkwardly and blow it out. (Well, at least the way it looks in my head, he could-it'd make sense if the candle was on a table beside the bed, but maybe I'm just accustomed to having tables beside the bed because I've worn glasses for the past eleven years.)**

"You've kept the flowers, I see," Inanya said, referring to the vase on the bedside table. **Thanks, Captain Obvious.**

"Yes, Inanya. I've kept the flowers," he answered, pulling the covers over both of them.

Inanya moved close to her husband **closer than before...?**. "I love you," she breathed. **I think he gets the picture, thank you very much. The only thing that might possibly rival the number of kisses in this chapter are the number of times that "I love you" is said. And seriously, saying it so often might indicate that one or both of them might be extremely insecure. Oh man, I have got to get these two some relationship help.**

Halt held her closer. After all those long years of waiting and wishing, she was back here. **I could make a lot of nachos with all the cheesiness contained in just this chapter, not to mention the whole story...**


	9. Returning Turmoil

**A/N: Last chapter! This deeply saddens me, but I don't think I could effectively emulate my past writing style (read: I've actually developed writing skills, so I can't let myself leave gaping plot holes, write Mary Sues, or have loads of OOC). Thanks to everyone who followed this; hopefully the last chapter doesn't disappoint!**

**Also, I'd like to give a huge shout-out to Dodo 123, who used a little snippet from the last chapter of _Green Oakleaf_ to inspire the chapter of her epically awesome Gilan fanfiction (One in a Million) entitled "Babysitting with a Beard." If you have not done so, read it and laugh.  
><strong>

**Hmm, what do I not own this time...? _Ranger's Apprentice, The Big Bang Theory, Star Trek, The Dresden Files_ (if you haven't read them, please do; they rock), "Circle of Life" from _The Lion King_, "Defying Gravity" from _Wicked_, "Peacock" by Katy Perry, "Men In Tights" from _Robin Hood: Men in Tights_ (again, if you aren't familiar with this movie, please go rent it NOW!), _Harry Potter_, or _Smallville_. Yep, none of them are mine (although I did modify some of the song lyrics included; those modifications are mine, but that's all).**

* * *

><p>It was time for the annual Ranger's Gathering <strong>about time Inanya showed up for one of those, hmm?<strong>. Things had settled into a routine with the four residents of the cottage. In the past few months, they had all become almost like a family**, which actually kind of makes sense, since three of them are family and Will's actually know Halt for longer than Alagan, so, there's some sort of a bond beginning**.

Now, however, Inanya, Halt, and Will were departing for the Ranger's Gathering. Since Alagan was not formally apprenticed yet, he could not come. **You know, if I were Alagan, I don't think I'd want to be a part of the Ranger Corps-he's been shunned from them his whole life, so wouldn't he feel unwanted by them? Since apparently he couldn't go to their meetings as a baby...** "Stay here and don't worry about any of us," Inanya ordered her son.

He nodded, acknowledging what she said **you know, your son IS a teenager, so he could totally throw a house party...hmm, interesting thoughts...** Inanya gave him a quick squeeze** you know, back when I wrote this, I wouldn't have thought that that sentence as suggestive, but now I do**, followed by a peck on the cheek **great, yet another person joins in on the pecking party. *sarcasm sign* And now I'm imagining various random members of the Ranger Corps walking around, handing out flyers for their annual pecking party- "Help us peck for charity!"**. "Try not to burn the place down," Halt ordered Alagan, perfectly serious on the outside. **Heh heh heh...that's a legit thing to say. I have a feeling that no child of Halt's would dare have a house party.**

"I won't," Alagan replied. **Smart kid. It's always a good idea not to mess with Halt's orders. Unless you have a deathwish or something.**

As they walked away, Inanya elbowed Halt in the ribs. When he gave her a questioning look, she said, "You know." **Well obviously, he's the one who said it. Thank you yet again, Captain Obvious *sarcasm sign***

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so right here, there's a huge chunk that I essentially plagiarized from the book, so I can't publish it here (and I'm not going to edit through it to un-plagiarize it; that's far too much work). So it's a lot easier to just sarcastically ramble and skim over this part.<strong>

**So...they're going to the Gathering, Will smells the sea, which reminds Inanya of Adair (serves her right)...and all of a sudden, they're magically riding their horses. Inanya's horse, Evadne (I love that name, by the way...I'll reuse it somewhere) somehow found her way back to her mistress.**

**Hmm...so yeah, Adair. Inanya gets all "oh Halt, hold me!" and Halt moves closer to her (well, he moves Abelard in Evadne's direction) and says they'll take care of that shebang (a little late, don't you think?).**

**Also-random divergent-ness...but other Rangers randomly show up to see one another. Wouldn't that have happened at least once while Inanya was staying with Adair?**

**So now Gilan shows up (YAY GILAN! :D) and they do that whole thing with Will and the tree and stuff like that. Inanya joins in (which really makes it sound like a bad musical number).**

**Speaking of bad musical numbers...hey, why not? Let's try...oh, what the heck, let's do "Circle of Life" from _The Lion King_ (first musical song that popped into my head).**

**Random Rangers appear in the background, chanting the African lyrics repeatedly throughout.**

**Inanya begins to sing, "From the daaaaaay we ariiiiiive on the plaaa-aaanet...and blinking, step intooo the sunnnn..."**

**Gilan chimes in, "There's more to seeeeeee than can ever be seeeeeeeen, more to doooooo...than can ever be doooooone!"**

**Now Will does his part: "There's far tooooo much to taaaake in heeeeere...more to find than can ever be fouuuuundddd..."**

**All three of them sing, somehow falling into a perfect yet totally unrehearsed harmony: "BUT THE SUN ROLLING HIGH...THROUGH THE SAPPHIRE SKY...KEEPS GREAT AND SMAAAALLLLL...ON THE ENDLESS ROUUUUUNDDD!"**

**Halt takes the stage, stepping in front of everyone as he belts out confidently, "IT'S THE CIIIIIRCLE OF LIIIIIIIIIIIIIFEEEEEE...AND IT MOVES US ALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!"**

**Gilan begins leading Inanya, Will, and various other Rangers in stag leaps as Halt continues, "THROUGH DESPAIIIRRR...AND HOO-OOOOOOPEEEEEE...THROUGH FAITH AND LOOOOOOVE!"**

**Crowley steps up next to Halt; they harmonize quite nicely as they sing, "Till we find our plaaaaaaaaceeeeeee...on the path unwinding!"**

**All join in. "IN THE CIIRCLLL-LLLLEEEE...THE CIRCLE...OF LIIIIIIIIIIFE!"**

**Wow, that was really fun to write. Anyways let's get back to the plot. Oh yeah, Gilan (I repeat: yay Gilan!). So he comes, doesn't find Will or Inanya, and we have to listen to Inanya's backstory yet again. And Gilan complains about how Halt didn't know she was alive; as usual, everyone seems relatively unperturbed by the fact that Inanya just kind of chilled with Adair for all that time and did nothing (that part isn't plagiarized, but I really don't feel like making anyone live through it again, so I'll just enlighten you here).**

**Inanya and Halt complain about how Gilan, Will, and Alagan frequently ask questions. You know, I think I'm going to dive back into the story for a second just so I can be amused.**

* * *

><p>Inanya smiled as [she and Gilan] shook hands. "That's quite all right [that you forgot to greet me after asking me questions]. I had to raise Alagan-my son <strong>you know, she's really not giving Halt enough credit here-granted, he was not the one who carried the child for nine months, but he <em>is<em> directly responsible for fifty percent of Alagan's DNA, which is definitely something**-alone for fourteen years, and the questions he asked were...rather excessive," she told him. **Kids are supposed to ask questions, you idiot.**

"That sounds like Gilan...and Will," Halt stated. **"And everyone under the age of eight. And anyone who wants to know something about something-pardon my specific-ness and use of collegiate words."**

"It _also_ reminds me of you, Halt, at least after I returned," Inanya informed her husband. **She is totally not allowed to give him crap for this-she's the one who abandoned him for fourteen years. And he deserved answers-lots of them. He also deserved to punch her in the face, which only didn't happen because we were dealing with OOC Halt.**

Halt arched his eyebrows cunningly at her. "Enough talk from _you_," he ordered her quietly with the most minute hint of playfulness.** Oh my gosh, I cannot picture Halt saying that. Not even OOC Halt. No matter how hard I try, it just...doesn't work. He's not a flirt. In fact, if someone tried to flirt with him, I have a feeling that the conversation would go thusly.**

**"...are you flirting with me?"**

**"Only if that's what you want, big boy." *giggles***

**Halt raises an eyebrow dangerously. "Oh, I know _exactly_ what I want," he growls (note: no hint of flirtation here) as his hand drops to the hilt of his saxe knife...**

**Okay, I was just about to say that I couldn't do anything with Halt flirting, but...I just imagined him watching an attractive woman walk by as he wolf-whistles and remarks, "Show me what you got, girl!"**

**So...OOC. So very, very, very OOC.**

* * *

><p><strong>Well, that was interesting. Anyways, Halt and Gilan banter, Inanya goes all "overprotective wife" when Gilan pokes Halt's stomach, and I recycle yet again the line about eyebrows disappearing into the hairline that I stole from one of the <em>Harry Potter<em> books (I've got to admit, it's an excellent use of imagery on Rowling's part, which is probably why I can find it so often in my earlier writing-at least my plagiarism was done in good taste).**

**Gilan and Will converse, they have the talk about Gilan's dad being a knight/Battlemaster. Oh yeah, and Inanya randomly has a twin brother named Adelio (the twin part isn't explicated here, but whatever). I have no idea how this had any sort of bearing on the story, but apparently I thought that it was important to have Inanya sadly mutter his name. Way to go-yet another person thinks you're dead. Come to think of it, I think Inanya was either from Caraway or Meric originally, which are both kind of close-ish to the Fens (well, at least compared to Redmont), so her family totally could've found her. Or she could've gotten to them with more ease than going all the way to Redmond.  
><strong>

**Sheesh, I'm going off on a bunch of tangents here. Okay, back to the story for a while here.**

* * *

><p>"Just because one's parents are nobles doesn't mean that their children will follow in their footsteps-or that they're eligible to <strong>says the woman who is apparently pushing Ranger-dom on her poor son<strong>. My mother went to Scribeschool, but the Craftsmaster would not take me because my penmanship is atrocious **just like the author's-yet another sign of a Sue**," Inanya explained.

"And your sisters-" Halt began. **Ah yes, the random sisters. I think Inanya has more random sisters (like...five more, I think, so a total of eight). I don't think they were really relevant to this story.**

"Yes, three older sisters to the Diplomatic Services. I don't think they would have considered me for a moment," she added caustically. **Neither would I. Never mind that I can't-if I could, I wouldn't.**

"Why not?" Will wondered. **Because she fails at life.**

"Firstly, I can't sit still for very long unless I'm completely fascinated by something **um, wouldn't this be a huge blinking red light alerting people that SHE WOULD MAKE AN AWFUL RANGER?**. Secondly, I had a friend help me chop off my hair so that it was to my shoulders and layered," she told them. **Because of course the people who are looking at your intelligence and skills are going to care what your hair looks like (sadly, though, in some places, this is probably true).**

* * *

><p><strong>Woot, end of the first notebook! *sound of paper shuffling and desk drawer openingclosing***

**Okay, here we go-the next notebook.**

**They find out that something's up and Halt and Inanya go to talk to Crowley.**

* * *

><p>Inanya glanced at her husband, then continued to scan the land. On the outside, she appeared perfectly calm, but inside, Inanya was nervous <strong>she has every reason to be-she's slacked off from her Ranger duties for the past fifteen years, the only excuse being the little time immediately before and after she gave birth to Alagan<strong>. She didn't think that her chances of being welcomed back were very big **Me neither. But hey, that's what you get when you make crappy life decisions...*scolds Inanya with fingers***. "Don't worry, dear. I'll see that you are fine," Halt promised her. **Oh, the OOC here...it's...beyond bad. That's how a normal adult would talk to a small child. Halt is not a normal adult, nor is Inanya a small child, despite her alarming lack of maturity. In reality, Halt would probably tell her to suck it up because it's her fault that she skipped out on the Corps a long time ago. Actually, IC Halt probably would've told her to take a hike when she showed up on his doorstep and told her that she'd lived with some random dude for four years (although he probably would've said something more harsh than "take a hike").**

She nodded shakily **I feel like such a sadist for reveling in her pain...but it's entertaining because seriously...she deserves it tenfold**, though her husband's words had soothed her greatly** maybe this is just another one of my idiosyncrasies, but when someone tells me not to worry, generally I start to worry even more than before**. Moving towards the pavilion, she watched the faces of the Rangers as they saw her **that's moderately creepy-she's just randomly staring at them?**. Several she recognized, but there were some that she did not know. From them all, she got looks of confusion and disbelief. **Okay, question: is she that recognizable that people can see her after fifteen years and immediately know who she is? I mean, her big claims to fame were that she married Halt and she was killed. Most people probably forgot what she looked like and probably wouldn't be able to make the connection, unless she's like the parents in TV shows like _Smalville_, where the kid goes from three to fifteen and the parents still look exactly the same. Which is unlikely, since she literally lived outside for several years, which means that the elements didn't exactly help her stay fresh-faced.**

Once her mare, Evadne, was tethered **Rangers don't tether their horses, even the ones that randomly went missing and showed up in the plot without any explanation**, Inanya entered the pavilion beside Halt. Since that area was filled with senior Rangers **what, and the "greenhorns" aren't allowed to be here?**, they all recognized Inanya, though she was fifteen years older now** that's usually what happens when fifteen years go by-people look fifteen years older**. There was one man, however, who showed no shock at the sight of her **wow, dude, way to be subtle... "Oh crud, it's her...I better try to hide in this giant crowd of people by behaving differently from them because that is an effective tactic!" *sarcasm sign***. In fact, he seemed to be trying to conceal himself from her. "I'm going to do something now," she told Halt, briefly touching his arm.

He nodded and continued towards Crowley, chief of the Rangers. **Hold the phone-IC Halt would NOT let his wife go back to the dude with whom she lived for four years. Not even if she claimed that there was nothing between them. I mean, she lived with the guy for longer than she lived with Halt! So yeah, he wouldn't just let her be like, "Okay, I'm going to go over an talk to the guy I lived with for four years instead of being with you...bye!"** Inanya moved easily through the group of men** for some reason, imagining Inanya walking through a crowd of Rangers made me think of the song "Men in Tights" from _Robin Hood: Men in Tights_. I think it's time for another musical number, as soon as I get out of the middle of this sentence.** to the man she never wanted to see again: Adair.

**MUSICAL NUMBER TIME!**

**Only I have to change the lyrics to "Men in Cloaks" so it fits the Corps. So I get to mess with some of the rhymes, hooray!**

**The entire Corps assembles into a group and begins an intricate dance routine as they sing, "We're men-we're men in cloaks! We roam around the woods, wearing leaves of oaakkkkksssss...We're men-we're men in cloaks! We help all the folk of Araluen, that's right!"**

**Halt steps forward for a solo, gesturing dramatically as he sings, quasi-opera style, "We maaaaaaay look so siiiiillllly...but watch what you say our else we'll put out your liiiights!"**

**The rest of the Corps joins back in: "We're men-we're men in cloaks! Always on guard; it makes us really stoooookedddddd..."**

**They all gather together and do a can-can-style kick line, with appropriate "WHOO!"-ing and lifting of cloaks (acting like said cloaks are can-can skirts). Singing resumes.**

**"We're men..."**

**Crowley steps forward and proudly announces, "MANLY men!"**

**Everyone continues: "Men in cloakkksss! We run around the woods, wearing leaves of oaaaaaakkkkkkksssssss! We're men-we're men in cloaks. We help all the folks of Araluen, that's right!"**

**A random Ranger steps forward and sings in a very deep voice, "We mayyyyy look like...treeeeees...but don't get us wrong or else we'll put out your lights!"**

**The entire Corps continues, "We're men...we're men in cloaks!"**

**Halt steps forward again, wrapping his cloak tightly around him and waggling his eyebrows as he says, in falsetto (you know, that voice that guys use to mock girls), "CLOSE cloaks!"**

**Everyone continues... "Always on guard; it makes us really stoooookeddd...! When you're in a fix, just call for the men in cloaks..."**

**Gilan jumps forward and shouts excitedly, "We're blokes!**

**Wow, that was more fun to write than "Circle of Life." If the Corps ever finds this, I'll be dead many times over.**

The look in his eyes was one of fear **well honestly, she can't do very much to you-she's a giant bag of mush**. "Hello, Adair," she said in a poisonous-sounding voice.

He knew that it was pointless to run or try to apologize. "Inanya, you don't understand-" **You know, I'm having a hard time coming up with witty things to say. I really don't think I can top the "Men in Cloaks" scene.**

"Oh no, Adair, I understand _perfectly_ **wait, what does she understand/not understand?**. You saw me. You desired me, so you did what you could to have me **Veni vedi, vici (I believe that's Latin for "I came, I saw, I conquered.")...that's what Adair makes me think of**. What you didn't understand was that I would go to the ends of the earth, jump off, and come back for Halt **you know, that statement would be _a lot_ more convincing if you'd actually done something to prove your love for Halt-like go back to him as soon as possible after being sloppily "captured"**. You thought that if I was told that he didn't love me, I would accept it **Um...basically abandoning him for fifteen years is kind of accepting that he doesn't love her. And random thought-even if Halt really did fall out of love with Inanya after, like, three seconds, he'd probably still care about her-she is a member of the Corps after all, and Halt is fiercely loyal to the Corps**. You took me for a **naive woman well, if he saw her as naive, he knew a lot more than everyone else in this story** and thought you had attracted me with your bait. Well, Adair, the tables are turned now **so he's a naive woman whom you're going to attract with your bait? Creepy**. I have been living with Halt for the past few months**, which are nothing compared to how long I lived with you**, and he, quite contrary to what you said, loves me as much as ever, **even though I am totally undeserving of both his affections and his amazing attractive-nes**s," she said to the Ranger, maintaining the poisonous quality in her voice.

Adair said the first logical thing he could think of: "How is Alagan?" **Yeah, because after I get chewed out by someone, my first instinct is to ask that person how his/her children are. *sarcasm sign***

"Much better now that he is home," she retorted coldly. **"Even though it's not really his home because he was an embryo last time he was there."**

Inanya looked deeply into Adair's eyes . _Can I ever forgive this man after how he tore my family apart?_ **You know, honey, this whole mess was actually more _your_ fault than anyone else's.**

She looked more deeply **what is this, a soulgaze?** and saw, to her agitation, the desire for her still burning within Adair **hey, old habits die hard**. "I can't talk to you any longer **you probably shouldn't have been talking to him in the first place, especially if you want Halt to believe that you actually care about him and aren't randomly mooching off of him**. All you see is a beautiful woman," she told Adair. **No, all he sees is a giant idiot. And the failed dramatic ending strikes again.**

**You know, saying that it "strikes again" makes me think that it's a supervillain or something. I can just imagine people running around a city, screaming, "Oh no! The Failed Dramatic Ending is coming!"**

**"Not the FDE!"**

**Chaos ensues...until someone says, "Crud, and I forgot to write that English paper..."**

**Then the scene, as one might expect, ends-hence the name of the supervillain. Sneaky, right?**

* * *

><p>Crowley had approached Halt. Without any sort of greeting, he asked, "How...?" <strong>Firstly, Crowley doesn't seem like the type of person to just walk up to someone and start talking without a greeting. Secondly, I wonder that too, Crowley...<strong>

"Turns out she's been alive all these years** well obviously, unless someone pulled her spirit out of wherever it was and shoved it back into her body, which sounds kind of uncomfortable. If I die, I really don't want to come back to life, partially because the concept of having my soul shoved down my throat (or into my chest, whatever) just doesn't sound worth it. And quite frankly, people who die are usually dead for a reason; I'm really not interested in messing with that reason. Although on that note, Inanya really deserves to be dead, or at least to be used for target practice at the Gathering**. She couldn't attend because she gave birth to a son **and, since tiny babies pose huge and massive threats to the Corps, she didn't bring him, because of course, chaos would ensue**. The man she was staying with-Adair-neglected to mention that she was still alive because of his desire to have her **he put that so nicely, but it's not very IC. Halt would probably say, "because he wanted her" or "because he was lusting after her" or maybe even "because he thinks with an organ other than his brain"...but that last one's a bit of a stretch (not to mention a massive insult, haha)**. He also lied to Inanya, saying that I no longer cared about her," Halt informed Crowley. **No, there is a fine line. I looked back and Adair's exact words were, "He has moved on." That implies that Halt doesn't love her anymore (or at least, he doesn't love her as much as he once did), but he could still care about her-because, as I said earlier, he's very loyal to the Corps (well, IC Halt is) and he'd be upset of one of the members died.**

"Very well. It's obvious that he has lied severely **you know, I really feel like Inanya should get punished for something-well, actually, several things, but I think that Crowley could really only punish her for slacking off on her Ranger duties for fifteen years**, and there are several men who can bear witness to this," Crowley stated. **"Do you know what kind of men can bear witness to this, Halt?"**

**There's a second's pause before they both sing... "The men...the men in cloaks-CLOSE cloaks!"**

**You know, I've probably ruined the nice mental image I had of the Ranger Corps as this elite FBI-esque force. From now on (in my mind, at least), they're the Men in Cloaks.**

They made their way towards Inanya and Adair, who seemed to be having an in-depth discussion **yep, I bet Halt is _totally_ reassured by this *sarcasm sign*.** She stepped away just as Crowley and Halt approached.

"It has been brought to my attention, Adair, that you have lied severely to the entire Ranger Corps **haha, I love how Crowley says that he lied SEVERELY...he didn't just lie, he lied SEVERELY!**. For this reason, I dismiss you from the Ranger Corps **wow, he's really being nice about this. In my head, Crowley throwing someone out of the Corps would be more like, "Dude, you're out," only in a slightly more formal manner. Although in the real world of the Corps, everyone's too good to get kicked out, so they don't have this problem** and strip you of all the privileges you used to hold," Crowley announced. **Haha, I can just imagine Adair's mind right now. "Crud, no awesome Ranger-ness, no meetings...SHOOT, that means no Inanya to stare creepily at! Does he have any idea how hard it's going to be for me to stalk this woman now that I'm no longer a member of the Corps?"**

Adair knew that it was useless to protest, seeing as the three Rangers that were already very angry with him were surrounded by others who would soon be as angry as the first three **I _really_ am feeling like Inanya should get punished as well-she did some pretty bad things. But of course, she's a Sue, and in their fanfics, Sues can do no wrong (unless the author comes back 3.5 years later with green ink and a head full of sarcasm...and better plot ideas)**. "I'll let you show him off, Halt," Crowley told him. **I think I meant "show him OUT" because if Halt shows him off, then it's time for another song (or at least part of one).**

**A random Ranger jumps out of the crowd, singing, "I wanna see your Adair-dair-dair, your Adair-dair. I wanna see your Adair-dair-dair, your Adair-dair!"**

**Inanya steps forward, belting out, "Word in the Corps's you've got something to show me-treacherous, devious-not a mystery. I'm intrigued for a peek, baby, let me seeeeee..."**

**The entire Corps sing-shouts: "Come on Halt, let us see, who could that bad fellow be?"**

**Crowley musically interjects (yes, I'm running out of ways to say "sing," but it works), "I want the jaw-dropping, eye-popping, head-turning, body shocking!"**

**The Corps backs him up: "Whoa-ah-ay-oh, oh-oh-whoaaa-ay-oh!:**

**He continues, "I want the heart-throbbing, ground-shaking, show-stopping-AMAZING!"**

**The entire Corps sings: "Are you brave enough to let us see your Adair? Don't be a goose, now, Halt, just show him off because it's fair!"**

**By this point, Halt is strutting around the Gathering Ground, dragging Adair behind him, randomly shoving him in peoples faces.**

**Yes, that is what you get when you tell a Ranger to show someone off.**

Halt gave Inanya a tender look before heading off into a wooded area with Adair. "I believe that you have a bit of explaining to do as well," Crowley said to Inanya. **Oh, don't make us live through it again, Crowley...I know you deserve an explanation, but I just cannot live this awful-ness for a...well, I can't live it again!**

She told him her story in vivid and full detail **WOOOHOOOO, I finally did this instead of writing out the whole thing for the zillionth time!**, explaining any questions that he might have before they were spoken **so she somehow developed a mind-reading ability? Interesting**. When she was through, Crowley smiled and said, **"Tough luck, girl. You're out of the Corps."**

**Oh I wish. He said something else, though.**

"Welcome back, Inanya. You've been sorely missed by us all." **See? That's not _nearly_ as exciting as being kicked out of the Corps.**

She presented the leader of the Rangers with a full smile. **"I know I've missed a lot of Christmases, Crowley, but I hope this makes up for it. Look, I even whitened my teeth and scraped off my tongue!"**

**And the FDE strikes again. You know, I'm kind of glad that it isn't a real supervillain because if it was, we'd all be in deep water.**

* * *

><p>Halt took Adair far from the pavilion <strong>after the lovely musical in which he was shown off, haha<strong>. Adair had sense enough to know not to bolt **well, if he stayed through the musical number that was obviously designed to make fun of him, it can't get that much worse**. "My wife has obviously not had any impact on you **oh, she's had impact, but not in the way you want**, so I shall try. What you did did not only hurt Inanya and I **that should be Inanya and ME...** but it hurt our son. You obviously only thought of your desire for her **well duh, that's kind of the deal with lust** and not of the impact your actions would have on our son **...didn't he already say that?**. It hurt Inanya and I **again, Inanya and ME** enough to think that there was no hope for us, but Alagan had to live his whole life until the night that he showed up at my house with Inanya without a memory of any family **but then again, wouldn't Alagan have seen Adair as a father figure, at least for a little while?**," Halt told Adair, his tone quiet and dangerous.

"I could have turned them out at any time," Adair informed Halt, his voice not strong at all. **You know, I actually think that IC Halt would've appreciated that-then Inanya would've been forced to come home or at least to live with one of her random siblings.**

"But you would not have, and I am glad for at least that **wait, WHAT? You're glad that some random dude lived with your wife for four years? Oh poor IC Halt, lost on the _Enterprise_ in the depths of space, with only Spock and his nerdy Spock-ness to keep him company**. You have torn our family. What you have done is so despicable that I can say no more," Halt spat. **Well, you said a lot already. IC Halt would probably just say a few words, make a death threat, and send Adair on his way.**

He turned as if to walk away, but spun on his heel and delivered a devastating punch to the side of Adair's face. **The anger behind that action is very much IC. The action itself...well, IC Halt has a lot more control than that.**

Without a second glance, Halt turned towards the pavilion. He knew that Adair's role in his life and the lives of his wife and son was over **dude, your wife lived with him for four years-is it ever really going to be over?**. When he reached the pavilion, he immediately swept Inanya into his arms in the same manner a knight would hold his lady after returning from a perilous battle** okay, this next part is even worse than the part where Inanya tries to hide in Halt's house. It actually makes that part look good and extremely IC**. For a moment, he met her eyes before kissing her passionately on the lips.** I think IC Halt and the _Enterprise_ jus discovered a new galaxy-one that's wayyyyy out there in the black void of space. There is no possible way to describe the OOC for this moment. I can't even reverse it and have a girl try to kiss IC Halt passionately in front of people-he'd just sneak out of it.**

Naturally, Inanya was shocked **well, at least she's having a relatively normal reaction to this phenomenon**. She was not at all used to such passion. As their lips separated, she said, "You are not the same."

**I feel a song coming on!**

"You're right. I've realized that showing my affections for you is nothing to hide," he stated. **He sings, "Something has chaaaaanged within me...something is not the same. I'm through with playing by the ruuuuuuuuuulllesss of someone else's gaaaaa-aaaaaaamee...! Too late for second-guessing; toooooo laaate to go back to sleeep...it's time to trust my instincts...close my eyeeeeeeeeeesss...and LEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!"**

**Halt begins running around the Gathering Grounds, flapping his cloak as if it were wings, singing, "IT'S TIME TOOOOOOOOOO TRYYYY...DEFYING...GRAVITYYYYYY! I THINK I'LL TRY...DEFYING GRAVITY...AND YOU CAN'T PULLLLL ME DOWWWNNNNNNN!"**

**Will and Gilan appear and begin doing some interpretive dancing; apparently, Gilan's agreed to tutor Will in interpretive dancing as well as unseen movement.**

**Halt begins running away from the cluster that is the Corps, still flapping, as he declares in song, "KISS MEEE GOOOOOOOODBYEEEE...I'M DEFYYYYYINGGG...GRAVITY...AND YOU CAN'T PULLLLL ME DOWWWNNNNN!"**

Crowley approached the couple. "Now that the business of the past has been taken care of **oh, that statement is oddly fitting after seeing OOC Halt sing "Defying Gravity",** we must discuss what is now upon us," he declared. **Hooray, more plot holes and OOC. *sarcasm sign***

The Rangers assembled themselves in a cluster **y'know, usually people assemble themselves in a line or something-assembling into a cluster is basically squishing together**, listening intently to Crowley. He continued, "The Kalkara have been unleashed. **That is just one of those sentences that needs to be said in a creepy and really basso dramatic voice.** Morgarath has most likely been using them **I love how he just drops this on them-not even "it's assumed that this has been happening" or "we're speculating that this happened"-it's just a straight-up fact. No room for other options**. There is not other logical explanation for the deaths of Lord Lorriac and Lord Northolt." **Of course not. Because if there were, it would detain the author from finishing this horrible story. Although I have to admit, the Kalkara do make sense in this situation, but that doesn't mean that they're the only option.**

Here he paused allowing what he had just said to sink in. "Northolt was said to be killed by a bear," Halt explained in an undertone to Inanya. **Wouldn't he have told her this at some point...oh, I don't know, before NOW?**

"They are obviously targeting those who played important roles in stopping Morgarath last time. It is best that they be stopped as soon as possible," Crowley added. **Nah, let's let them run around-see what we're working with, just to get a feel of this whole shebang. *sarcasm sign***

Inanya's heart jumped in fear. She knew that they would come after Halt. **Well at least her brain is partially functional.**

Interestingly, Halt was thinking the same thing about Inanya **whoa, hold up for a second! Unless they just want to eat her (I don't even know if the Kalkara are carnivores; if so, I still don't know if they'd eat people), I don't get this entirely**. Morgarath had already captured her twice with enough ease **well yeah, it's a cakewalk to capture someone as ditzy as Inanya, even if it's done sloppily**. He couldn't bear to lose her again, especially if the loss meant her death. He couldn't raise Alagan by himself either. **Yes, because that's what every husband thinks when he's worried about his wife's life... "Oh shoot, she's going to die, I'm going to miss her...and ah crap, I can't raise the kid alone!"**

"Inanya, I am not letting you out of my sight until the Kalkara are dead," Halt vowed.

"Me? **Yes, you. If you happened to read the list on my profile of things I dislike, this is on there (repeating what someone said in question format). It's annoying.** _You're_ the one I'm worried about!" she exclaimed. **Well, obviously he wouldn't worry about himself as much as about you because you're a Sue and he's your OOC husband.**

He saw the fear in her eyes and it was obvious that she hadn't thought of being captured herself **for once, she's showing at least a tiny little speckle of selfless-ness! Hooray character development (now that the story is basically over)**. "Ah, dear," Halt murmured, kissing her briefly. **Of course, we had to bring out OOC Halt again to do his curtain call in the form of a term of endearment.**

"Together, we will be fine," he told her.

To Crowley **wait, so Crowley's been standing here awkwardly while his OOC best friend has a romantic moment with the biggest slacker known to the Corps? Awkward.**, he said, "I will accept it as my responsibility to assemble a group to handle the Kalkara." **Firstly, I love how Halt totally does Crowley's job for him and just decides that he's high and mighty enough to go out and hunt these things. Secondly...it's over and I'm kind of sad. If you want to know what happens in the rest of the story, just read the books, only throw Inanya in there, make everyone impossibly OOC (especially Halt), and add lots of random musical numbers.**

**Okay, so the random musical numbers weren't in my original plan for this story. But while everyone's OOC, why not? I mean, we're already picturing the Ranger Corps as Men in Cloaks...**

**And in case anyone's curious, Inanya is very, very pregnant by the time The Burning Bridge begins. Sheesh, you'd think they'd think twice about these things...there's a war coming and, on a less important note, how in the world are they going to fit another person into their house?**

**So yeah. That's really all I have to say, except that I'll probably be inserting random musical numbers into Ranger's Apprentice for the rest of my life.**

**Oh-before I forget, a HUGE thanks to everyone who read and reviewed this story, especially those of you who followed all the way from the beginning. I seriously thought that no one would read this-apparently, I was wrong. So thank you for proving me wrong and for being such dedicated and wonderful readers. :D**


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